Whispering Secrets
by SweetestBitch
Summary: Isabella is depressed and on the verge of suicide. Can this boy that bullies her and torments her save her or break her down even more? Rated M for language, self harm, and dark themes.
1. Chapter 1

Pain. Guilt. Depression.

Was all I felt anymore. I'm numb. Everything fucking sucks, sometimes I wonder why I was born.

I'm Isabella Swan and I'm 16 years old. A depressed, emo freak. Or at least that's what the kids at school tell me-call me whatever. Again, everything fucking sucks.

My parents constantly regret me being born, yet they treat my brother like a fucking king. Currently I am sitting in my room, with my headphones in trying to drown out my parents. They're fighting, as usual. In my house this is a nightly occurrence. If I'm lucky they'll start throwing shit around. Yes, that was sarcasm.

No matter how loud I turn up my music I still can't drown them out.

With a groan I rip out of the headphones from my ears and as quietly as possible I sneak out and go into my brothers' room. Yes, I know what you're thinking, I should hate him because my parents love him more; but I can't. I don't possess hate, just sadness. Plus when you look at my brother Alec you fall in love with him instantly. Alec's 5 years old with black hair and chocolate brown eyes just like me. He's sitting on his bed crying. This is a nightly occurrence too; me going in to comfort him and tell him everything was going to be okay; when I clearly knew it was never going to be_ okay_.

"Hey buddy." I whispered.

He looked up at me with tear stained cheeks and those chocolate orbs bore into me.

"Are you okay?" Nothing about this situation is remotely _okay._

"I'm okay Bella." He whispered in his little baby voice. I absolutely _hated _being called Bella. It means beautiful in Italian, and I'm nowhere near _beautiful_. But I didn't have the heart to correct Alec.

"Do you want me to lay with you, buddy?"

He nodded- _yes_. I pulled up the duvet and snuggled in as best as I could onto his small twin sized bed. He put his head on my stomach and started to suck his thumb. Awful habit I know. I hope he breaks out of it soon.

I lay in bed just _thinking_ even though my mind was an evil place to be trapped.

I'm not a good person. I have selfish thoughts and bad intentions. I hurt everyone around me. I hurt myself. This isn't the depression talking. This is me. I don't think I can get better. Do I want to get better? No, not really. Do I want to be happy? Yes, doesn't everyone want to be happy?

Maybe I should just kill myself.

_No, you have so much to live for__**. **_The sane part of my brain argued.

What do I have to live for? I don't have friends, I don't have a boyfriend. My parents treat me life shit, plus if I died my parents wouldn't have the burden of taking care of me.

Well it's not like they properly take care of me now. Like I said, my mind is a really shitty place to be trapped.

Alec is snoring lightly and he has a death grip on my shirt, I usually would get up right after he falls asleep. But tonight I can't. I don't want to be alone. When I'm alone I cut my self I'm scared if I did it tonight it would be the last time. I snuggled deeper into the mattress and closed my eyes. Sleep soon took over.

A/N. Hi guys , Short chapter I know. I have absolutely no fucking clue where this story is going, and knowing me I'll ditch it halfway through. Anyways I hope you liked it, this is my very first fic- Yes, how exciting. Haha, if you haven't figured it out yet this story is going to have dark themes, drug abuse (maybe), and self harming. If you can't handle that I suggest you get the fuck out. You've been warned. Okay I'll shut up now. Goodbye for now. WAIT. I'll generally update on weekends, most likely Sunday night. Goodbye


	2. Chapter 2

Someone was poking my cheek. I groaned and flipped onto my side, I was not ready to wake up.

"Bella! Wake up!" someone yelled.

I reluctantly opened my eyes and saw Alec sitting beside me on the bed.

"What do you want?" I groaned sleepily.

"I'm hungry." He said and patted his stomach.

"Yeah, well go wake up mom." I muttered grabbing his pillow and putting it over my face.

"I'm scared." He whispered.

Damn him and guilting me into waking up. I guess I would be playing the _mother _role today.

"Fine. Go brush your teeth and meet me in the kitchen." I got up and rubbed my eyes, my head was pounding. I headed into the kitchen, there was broken glass on the floor but it seemed like everything else was intact. I quickly cleaned up the glass and disposed of it in the downstairs bathroom. I came back and Alec was sitting at the table swinging his feet.

"So what would you like for breakfast?" I asked him. He shrugged. "Is waffles okay?" He nodded

"Don't bother making anything. We'll eat at the mall." The Dragon Lady aka my mother said.

"Why are we going to the mall mommy?" Alec asked.

"To get pictures with Santa. Now hurry up and get dressed, both of you. I'm leaving in 25 minutes." And with that she went upstairs and I heard the lock on her room click.

I sighed and headed upstairs after Alec. I looked in my closet, and pulled out a pair of jeans and a long sleeve black shirt. I was seriously low on clothes; my mother seemed to think I didn't need any more right now. I grabbed my blue iPod from off of my dresser and went into my brothers' room to see if he was ready. He was sitting on his bed trying to pull his socks on. He jumped off the bed and ran right into me, not noticing I was standing in his doorway.

"Are you ready?" I asked

"Yeah! I don't know what I should ask Santa for though.." he started to ramble of names of different toys he said he absolutely needed. I shook my head and headed downstairs with Alec right on my tail. My mother was waiting at the bottom of the steps. She took one look at me and sighed.

"Why can't you dress like a girl for once? And that shirt makes you look fat." I ignored her and slipped my shoes on and put my headphones in; turning up the volume on my iPod, drowning out my mothers complains.

The two hour drive to Port Angeles dragged. I sat in the backseat ignoring everything. I hate malls. They're loud, stinky and there are people everywhere. I hate people.

"Isabella, you go save us a spot in line to take pictures. I'm going to take Alec to get something to eat." My mother said with no room to argue. She grabbed Alec's hand and they walked toward the food court together. I sighed and walked to the end of the long line. I hummed to myself and waited for the line to move.

"Oh, look who's here!" A nasally voice said. "Is the little baby excited to see Santa?" Tanya Denali aka the girl that has fucked every guy in school scoffed at me.

"I don't have to explain myself to you but if you must know I'm saving a spot in line for my brother." I said coolly and turned around.

"There you are! I've been looking for you." A velvet voice whispered behind me. Ah, Edward Cullen. He kissed Tanya on the lips. Edward had unruly reddish-brown hair; he was also the schools man-whore. I was the only girl in school not lusting after him.

"Why are you wasting time talking to this vermin." He spat, obviously directed towards me. I had my headphones in so I pretended I didn't hear him. He bounded into my shoulder on purpose before grabbing Tanya's hand and walked away. It was going to be a _long _day.

My mother had come back and I went off on my own to do my own shopping. I ran into Edward a couple times after and he spat insults to me. I shook it off.

Like I said. It was a _long_ day. I bought a couple of long sleeved shirts and jeans with the money my grandma gave to me for my birthday. Mom and Alec were finished taking pictures with Santa and came to find me. I headed out with them and ran into Edward again in the parking lot. He shot me a weird look I couldn't decipher. I shook that off and climbed into my mom's car.

**A/N: Hi guys. I hope you liked this holiday themed chapter. Credit goes to my friend/editor Morgan for giving me some ideas for this chapter and complaining that I need to hurry up and finish it. Anyways hope you liked it. Again I can't promise a HEA; I have no clue where I am going with this story I just write whatever comes to mind. 10 reviews and I'll post the next chapter. Bye for now.**


	3. Chapter 3

School was hell. Like literally hell. The day so far has consisted of me getting tripped, made fun of and tripped again. I don't know why I even put up with this bullshit. I walked outside and sat down in the grass and pulled out my notebook. Drawing was my hobby, I didn't draw sunshine and rainbows; I drew what I felt. I drew girls bleeding to death, girls crying blood and just plain _dead_ people. I wonder how one of the bitchy preppy girls would feel if they ever heard everything going on in my mind, they probably wouldn't give a shit. I slipped my headphones into my ear and turned up the volume on my iPod and got out my pencils. No one ever came to the very back of the field; this was my own peaceful sanctuary to get away. Occasionally some of the seniors would come out here to smoke a cigarette or to smoke some pot, but they left me alone for the most part.

I heard a faint whistling over my music and I looked up to see the stoners staggering towards me. As usual they were as high as the sky, I turned the volume down on my iPod and continued to sketch. I didn't notice they had come closer than usual until I heard a voice.

"Hey beautiful." One of them said. I ignored them and pretended I hadn't heard him over the music and continued to sketch. One of the four stoners had come closer and ripped the headphones out of my ear. I looked up prepared to give him hell but I was startled by how close his face was.

"Wanna play with us sexy?" He whispered in my ear and the hair on my neck stood up. I shook my head and tried to stand up.

"Common, don't go so soon, we just want to _play_." He said whilst lightly tracing his fingers up my legs.

"No." I whimpered and someone gripped my arms tightly, pinning me down even more. He continued to trace my legs until he got to my waist, he paused for a moment and continued, dragging my shirt up in the process.

"No." I said more forcefully. He continued dragging my shirt up.

"Hey assholes! She said no." I heard a booming voice yell from somewhere in the near distance. I didn't realize I was squeezing my eyes shut until I reluctantly opened them up and looked up. All the boys were standing in front of me now; I took this opportunity and stood up.

Emmett Cullen was stalking furiously towards them. Emmett was 6'1 and a _big _burly, muscular man. He could pass for a man that was in his late twenties.

"She said no." He said again and shoved two of the boys to the side.

"You okay B?" He asked me.

"Y-yes." I stuttered

"Do you want me to teach them a lesson?" He said while cracking his knuckles

"Please don't..I don't want any attention." He frowned.

"You do know that they were about to _rape _you right?" He said slowly. The boys that had attacked me ran away with their tails between their legs.

"Yeah. I'm quite aware of what was going on." I snapped.

"Sorry B, I didn't mean it like that." He said looking apologetic.

"Why do you keep calling me 'B'?"

"Saying Isabella is a real mouth full." He shrugged.

"Hey, uh, thanks for saving me but can you not tell anyone about this? Please. I don't want any unnecessary attention drawn to me."

"B, they were about to _rape_ you. That's like a crime."

"I'm quite aware, but please just don't tell anyone." I begged. He nodded and I sighed relived.

I heard the warning bell signaling that lunch was over.

"Thanks again Emmett." I said and jogged towards the nearest door to the school.

I went to my locker and got my books and walked into Biology and sat down at the back. I was the only person in the class who didn't have a lab partner. I also had one big table to myself. I rolled the sleeves up on my shirt and folded my hands in my lap and waited for class to being.

"Miss Swan." I head Mr. Molena say. I snapped my head up and I was met with him standing right in front of my desk.

"Yes sir?"

"I assume you know Mr. Cullen." I nodded and he gestured to Edward standing behind him. _Shit_.

"He just got transferred into this class, and from now on he will be your lab partner." I nodded.

"Great." I muttered as he walked away. Edward smirked and sat down beside me, slamming his books down on the table. I looked down at my hands, I could feel his eyes boring into the side of my head.

"So what happened to your wrist?" He asked nonchalantly. I looked up at him panicked. He still had the same smirk on his face.

"That bruise." He elaborated. I looked down and saw purple finger prints etched into my skin. I quickly rolled my sleeves down.

"Eh, nothing."

"Nothing my ass. That looked like finger prints"

"Why do you even care?" I sighed

"I don't." he said.

"Then why are you asking me what happened? Nothing happened."

"If nothing happened then why the fuck won't you tell me." He retorted.

"For multiple reasons _Edward_. One we are not friends, far from it. Two, since we are not friends you shouldn't care what the hell happens to me. Three, what if I told you me and my boyfriend got hot and heavy last night and that's where the marks are from." I half yelled. He looked shocked by my outburst.

"I don't care what happens to you. Jesus I was just wondering. You could go die for all I care." He said.

I should go die. I thought

"What was that?" He asked. Oh shit. Did I say that out loud? Yeah, I'm pretty sure I did. Fuck my life.

"Nothing." The bell finally rang signaling that class was beginning.

"Good afternoon class, today we will be learning about DNA." Mr. Molena said. Edward continued to stare at the side of my head. I zoned out.

**A/N: Hey guys. I know I said I would upload this chapter when I have 10 reviews..and right now I have three ****. But my friend/editor was being a bitch (LOL) and kept nagging me to update because if I didn't it wouldn't be fair to the people that favourited/followed the story. So..review and tell me what you think. Bye for now! **


	4. Chapter 4

"I'm going out." I screamed up the stairs

"Where are you going?" My mother screamed back.

"None of your business."

"It is my business, I'm your mother." Oh so _now _she wanted to be all motherly. I almost laughed at how hard she was trying not to yell at me.

"Oh. So now you want to be all parental. It's none of your fucking business where I go. It's not like you care about me in the first place." I screamed and ran out the door before she could hit me.

I pulled the blue iPod out of my jacket pocket and put the ear buds in my ear. I walked a couple of blocks to _Forks National Park_ and sat down at one of the damp picnic tables. I watched the smiling kids play on the only playground in town. They looked so happy, not a care in the world. I wonder if one of them would end up like me. I tapped my foot to the beat of the music and got lost in thought.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I screamed at the top of my lungs, his sudden approach startling me. I put my hand on my heart and pulled the headphones out of my ears.

"Jesus Swan, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

"_You_ are what are wrong with me. What are you like stalking me now? You figured that tormenting and humiliating me at school wasn't enough?" His face hardened at my words and he sat down beside me.

"No. You're not worthy enough for me to stalk you." He smirked.

"Go to hell." He rolled his eyes.

"Seriously though, what the fuck are you doing here?"

"It's a park. What do you think I'm doing? What are _you _doing here Edward Cullen? Shouldn't you be off fucking your girlfriend somewhere?" I didn't really give a shit what he was doing, but I don't know what compelled me to ask.

"I had a great fuck this morning, thank you for asking. But if you must know, I run up the trails every afternoon."

"Great. You go do that, I don't think you want to get all flabby and shit. Bye." I gave him a cheery fake smile and a finger wave and went off in the other direction.

I walked the 30 minute walk into town just to go to the only convenient store in town. I walked in and gave Irina – the owner- a wave and walked to the back of the store into one of the candy isles. A pale hand reached out at the same time mine did for the candy bar. Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me. I looked up and my eyes were met with his piercing green ones.

"Seriously, what the fuck Edward. Should I tell Chief of police that I have a stalker?" I snapped.

"I didn't follow you- you crazy bitch. If you recall this is the only convenient store in town." He said and quickly grabbed the_ Toblerone _bar from my hand.

"Hey give that back." My god. I sound like a child.

"No."

"I saw it first."

"Prove it."

"Ugh. Fuck this." I say and stalk out of the store. I bet you he doesn't even like that chocolate, he just wanted to get a rise out of me. And to top it off it was raining. Great. Isn't this the cherry on top of the crap sundae that is my life. I started the long walk home after slipping my headphones back on.

I didn't have my jacket on that had a hood so my hair was dripping down my back and there was water in my shoes. I just hate everything. Even though I want to go home to get warm, I don't want to deal with her and her bitching at this moment.

A car honked behind me and I turned around to see a silver Volvo driving slowly behind me. I turned my head and continued walking. He pulled up beside me and rolled down the passengers' side window and leaned over.

"Get in Bella." He said. I ignored him and continued walking.

"It's just going to start raining harder." He warned.

"I don't care." I mumbled

"Bella, swallow your pride and the fuck in the car." He sounded irritated. Good. I stopped for a minute realizing it had started raining harder. If I continued walking in the rain, I would get sick. This meant staying home with my mother all day. I sighed and opened the car door and climbed in. My hair was dripping on his leather seat and the mud that was on my shoes rubbed off on his carpeted car floor. I didn't feel an ounce of guilt that I fucking up the interior of his car. I buckled my seatbelt and leaned back in the seat, crossing my arms over my chest.

He had started driving again driving again, 40 miles above the speed limit I must add. Maybe we would crash and die. One could hope.

"So do you like the rain?"

"Are you really asking me about the damn weather Edward? It's rain. It rains every day."

"Just making conversation."

"Well you're really bad at it."

The rest of the car ride was uneventful. I caught Edward glancing at me from the corner of his eye but he didn't try to make small talk again. He finally pulled up in front of my house.

"How do you know where I live?" I blurted.

"Bella, its Forks. Everyone knows where you live."

"Thanks for the ride." I muttered and climbed out, slamming the door behind me. I walked across the lawn to my front door. I pulled the key out of my back pocket and unlocked the door. I walked inside and quietly closed the door; not wanting to confront my mother again. I turned around ready to bolt for the stairs. Whoops spoke to soon. Never mind, _she_ was standing there.

"And where have you been young lady?" She was fuming.

"And I repeat. None of your fucking business." I tried to go around her but she was standing right in front of the steps.

"You will not speak to me like that." Her eyes were black. Oh shit. She lifted her hand and hit me across the face with her palm before I could duck. My eyes started to water involuntarily.

"You bitch." I said and pushed her out of the way and ran up to my room slamming the door behind me. Thank god my room had a lock. I put my hand on my now red cheek and sat down on my bed and leaned over pulling out my journal that I had tucked in between my mattress and my headboard. I pulled it out and flipped to the back where I had taped my blades. I quickly peeled off the tape and looked at the silver sharp object.

I rolled up my sleeve to reveal my already marked skin. I pressed the blade to my skin and _cut_. Once. Twice. Three times. Never deep enough to die, just deep enough to feel something. Anything. I looked at the red blood that was coming out of the wounds in little droplets. I'm so tired and unmotivated and life so boring and pointless. I don't want to do anything with myself anymore. I just can't fight every second of everyday. Maybe I should just end it all…I pulled out the bottle of sleeping pills from my side tables. Maybe I would do it now. I opened the lid.

**A/N: Hello lovelies. It's currently 2:33am and I just finished the chapter. Sorry I didn't post yesterday, my muse wasn't with me, and then what I had wrote was pure crap and I had to start over. And holidays are kicking my ass. I know this chapter was sort of heavy, (sorry). Sorry about the cliffy too. This chapter is unbeta'ed, my beta went to bed like 2 hours ago haha. I may repost this later, edited but maybe not. Reviews my dear readers, make me post chapters fast ;). Next chappy at 20 reviews. Bye for now -SweetestBitch**


	5. Chapter 5

There were exactly 12 pills in the container. 2 would put me in a deep sleep, 5 would make me puke my guts out, maybe 9 would kill me. Just maybe. I didn't have any water with me, and frankly I didn't have the energy to get any; nor did I want to have another run in with my mother. I would just have to take them slowly. I dropped the pills onto my bed and quickly picked them up with the palm of my hand. I popped one in my mouth and swallowed, grimacing at the bitter aftertaste.

I heard two timid knocks at the door which pulled me out of my stupor and made me drop my pills in surprise.

"W-who is it." I stammered while quickly kicking the pills under my bed.

"It's Alec, silly." He had the worst timing to bother me.

"One second!" I yelled and grabbed a handful of tissue paper from on top of the dresser and slipped it between my fresh cuts and my many bracelets on my left hand and pulled my sleeve down. I unlocked the door and was met with Alec's eyes boring into mine.

"Eh, what do you want, Alec?" I asked exasperated.

"Mommy wanted you to come down for dinner."

"Well tell the bitc- eh, tell her I said 'no thanks' and that I'm not hungry."

"Okay." He said and motherfucking skipped down the damn steps.

I will never understand how that boy is so damn cheery in this household. I closed the door and sat back down on my bed suddenly feeling drained. I was not in the mood to commit suicide right now. I just want to sleep. I cleaned up after tonight's activities and laid down on my old, squeaky mattress and pulled the purple and black duvet over my head and flipped on to my side; a deep sleep quickly overcame me.

A loud beeping woke me up. My fucking alarm clock. I rolled over and slammed the snooze button. Maybe I could get away with ditching school today. Maybe not. Mom usually stays home on Fridays and frankly I was too scared to get in trouble. I groaned inwardly and got out of bed, the cold air assaulting my warm body. Half asleep, I got my towel and the clothes I was going to wear today, and walked across the hall into the tiny bathroom.

I stripped quickly wanting to feel warm again and hopped in the shower and turned on the hot water. The warm water quickly relaxed me and the familiar smell of my shampoo soothed me. I stood there until all the warm water ran out. I dressed quickly, running the towel through my hair and threw the towel in the hamper. I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen grabbing a granola bar and headed for the living room.

My backpack was still sitting behind the love seat. I grabbed it and headed for the front door. I pulled on my too-small rain boots and my rain coat. I was still really early; school didn't start for another forty minutes. I sat down in the damp bench and pulled out my sketchbook trying to pass time.

"Hey Swan," a voice whispered in my ear. In. My. Ear. I was not comfortable with him being so close to me. His voice startled me which made me drop my sketch book in the ice cold puddle.

"What the fuck is wrong with you Edward! Stop fucking sneaking up on me!" I yelled.

"It's not my fucking fault you're utterly unobservant." I bent down to retrieve my soaking wet sketchbook from the puddle, but his long hands beat me too it. He held out the dripping sketchbook to me.

"Thanks." I snarled and turned on my heel ready to stalk away.

"What's your deal, Swan?" He asked. I gave him a questioning look.

"You have no friends, I never see you at parties, and you're just really fucking quiet."

"Oh I'm sorry! I'm sorry for not being social. I'm sorry for not being a fucking slut. I'm sorry for being me." Deep breaths. Deep fucking breaths, Isabella. This won't end well you hit him my brain said. Oh my god, I'm talking to myself, maybe I'm going to crazy. I shook my head and continued.

"What's your deal Edward? Why are you suddenly all up in my business? Why are you suddenly speaking to me like a fucking civilized human being? I'm not like those other girls Edward. I won't get on my knees for you just because you suddenly decided to give me some time of day. So if that's what you're looking for, you can go fuck yourself Edward Cullen." I spat at him. He looked at me stunned clearly not expecting my sudden outburst. I turned on my heel and quickly ran into the school. I hid out in the library knowing that if Edward wanted to say-yell-a couple of words to me he wouldn't look in the library.

The first bell rang and I rushed to first period. Trig class and government class went by in a blur. I was too preoccupied to pay attention. When lunch finally rolled around, I went to my new lunch spot (behind the gym). It wasn't as glamorous as the old one but it'll do. I sat down and closed my eyes and waited for the bell to ring signaling that lunch was over. I was dreading the next class, biology. With Edward. I was so fucked.

The warning bell rang and I quickly got to my feet and ran into the building before anyone could see me. I went to my locker and grabbed my books. My heart was beating faster, why was I afraid of Edward? I shouldn't be, right? I walked to class stuck in my own head. I sat down in the plastic green chair at my table and rested my head on my folded hands on the table. I jerked upwards when I heard a pile of books slam down next to me.

"Long time no see, Swan." He spat sarcastically at me and sat down. I moved my chair away from him to the end of the table. He followed suit. I sighed tired of his antics.

"Really, Edward. What the fuck do you want from me? If your goal in life is to piss me off, then, mission accomplished." I yell-whispered

"Maybe I just want to be your friend." He said coolly.

"You don't know the first thing about being someone's friend." My voice was getting louder and everyone in a three seat radius turned around.

"Maybe if you give me a chan-" I cut him off.

"No. Edward stop with your bullshit. Just fucking stop. I already have enough shit to deal with. Just stop!" I stood up from my seat and yelled. The whole class turned around to look at me. I ran out of the class with angry tears rolling down my cheeks.

**A/N: Hello lovelies! If you haven't figured out why Bella's mood changes every second, she probably has BPD (Bi-Polar Disorder) or Edward just pisses her off, you'll find out more about it in the coming chapters. Guys I'm very self conscious about my writing and I almost have a panic attack before I post it, I read it over a thousand times, edit it. Your reviews are love and encouragement for me to go on! Thank you! (No update on Sunday guys **** )**

**Until next time -SweetestBitch**


	6. Chapter 6

**EPOV:**

Everyone's eyes were boring into my forehead, all of them whispering and making up what the fuck they thought had happened. Who the fuck was she to yell at me in front of the whole motherfucking class. She was a fucking psycho bitch. If she was a psycho bitch then why couldn't I leave her alone? There was something about that girl that draws me closer every time I speak to her. I got to my feet quickly, knocking my chair down in the process. It landed on the floor with a loud _thud_. Mr. Molina was yelling at me to sit down back in my seat, but I ignored him and walked right past him and right out the door.

Isabella was sitting with her back pressed to a bunch of lockers, her skinny arms were wrapped around her knees which were pulled to her chest. Sobs were wrecking through her tiny frame. I walked over and sat down beside her copying her position. I wasn't sure if I should pat her back or some shit. She'd probably freak out on me if I did.

"Why can't you just leave me alone, Edward?" I barely made out what she was saying.

"I honestly don't know. Every time I speak to you I get drawn in closer." What the fuck was I saying. I sound like a pansy ass motherfucker.

She sniffled at my words but didn't say anything.

"I just want to be your friend, Bella. Maybe I could help you."

"H-help me? What the hell would you help me with?" She asked, panic laced her voice.

"Remember when I saw the finger prints on your wrist? Yeah well, that's not all I saw Bella." I said gently.

"I could help you; you wouldn't need to do that shit anymore. You would have me to talk too. You can trust me."

"How can I trust you Edward? You're one of the reasons why those scars are there. You may be playing a tiny part in my life but that small part is influencing me in bad ways. How can I trust you Edward? How do I know you're not just playing me so then you can go spill my secrets to the whole school and make me look like an even bigger psychopath? And plus, how would it look when you started hanging out with me? The biggest goddamn loser in school." She whispered quickly, I had to concentrate to keep up.

"So you're worried about what everyone else would think of you? And how it would affect my reputation?"

She nodded.

"What about Tanya, that bitch already makes my life harder, I wouldn't want her to actually have a reason to hate me and bitch at me whenever she sees me." She said.

"Tanya?"

"Yes Edward, you're freaking girlfriend. She'll start world war 4 if-when she sees you with me all the time."

"Tanya's not my girlfriend, hell I don't even like her, let alone love her. She just gives fuck-awesome blow jobs." She cracked a tiny smile at my words which made me grin.

"You're such a pig." She said and wrinkled her nose. A stray piece of hair fell on her face and I reached out to brush it off her face but froze because I didn't want to freak her out too much.

"So will you consider being my friend?" I asked gently

"I'm sorry, but I can't Edward. I just can't trust anyone right now."

"Look I know I was an ass before but that was before. Now I know how strong you are." I was practically begging for her to be my friend.

Why? I don't even know. What the hell was it about this girl that was drawing me in so much? She was different. Ninety-Eight percent of the girls in Forks High were complete and utter sluts, and liked to party, get high and drink. But Bella was different; she was the complete and utter opposite. I didn't usually go for girls like her but why was I trying so hard now?

"I can't Edward. Trust is a big thing for me. I can't be saved, I'm a lost cause." With that she got up and walked away, leaving me sitting there. I didn't follow her this time.

I slowly got up on my feet. In a daze I walked to my locker and grabbed my book bag and my jacket and walked out into the parking lot. Bella was sitting in her old, beat up red truck wiping her eyes, I walked past her truck hoping she would notice me, but she didn't. Or maybe she did, but refused to acknowledge me. I walked across the lot to my Volvo and got in. I drove home lost in my thoughts, not caring that I had missed the last two periods.

I walked into my house which was still empty because everyone was either at work or school. I walked up the stairs, to the second floor and went into my room. I rummaged around in my desk drawer looking for something that'll give me some type of salvation.

I found the little baggie of weed I had stashed away for moments when I was just tired of everything. I rolled it up and smoked up.

xx

Days flew by, and Bella refused to acknowledge me other than the small, fake ass smile she would've me during biology when I would say hello to her at the beginning of class. This shit was getting tiring. Maybe if I stopped being such a jackass to her, she'll know that I was serious about being her friend.

On Friday Bella didn't show up for school. Bella never missed school. Something was wrong, I could feel it. I ditched the last two periods again and sped over to the Swan residence.

**A/N: This has got to be the crappiest piece of writing I have ever written. Someone told me to write EPOV, and I did. And now I'm regretting it. My Beta almost shot me because I was pissing her off with my whining. Flame me for this chapter, I don't care, I know it's a piece of shit. Maybe this story is just a BPOV type of story. **

**Bye for now. –SweetestBitch **


	7. Chapter 7

I stared at the alarm clock on my bed side table. I hadn't slept all night; I just had way too much on my mind. All of them happened to do with Edward. So why did he suddenly want to be my friend? Was it because he wants to play me and make my life even more of a living hell, or was it because he genially wants to be my friend? I'm not taking any chances of getting my mind fucked with. Plus why would I tell the guy that pretty much caused my scars my problems? Was he hoping I would throw all the shit he had done, and said to me behind and forgive him? He probably thinks he can fucking fix me, excuse me, I can't be goddamn fixed. I'm broken past repair.

The numbers on the clock changed and my alarm started beeping. I sighed and pressed the snooze button. I did my morning routine and headed downstairs to just kill time before I had to leave. I opened the fridge and got out a carton of milk, and a box of cereal from on top of the fridge. I poured them in a bowl and sat down at the wooden table in one of the mismatched chairs. I took a bite and looked around, noticing for the first time how ridiculous this kitchen looked. The stove was outdated and the cupboards were freaking yellow. Like bright yellow. My mother had painted them yellow because she wanted to 'add a bit of sunshine' into this house when I was a toddler.

"You're going to have to pick up Alec from school today." My mother said while walking into the kitchen.

"Why can't you do it?" I asked agitated.

"I'm going out with my friends and I won't be back until later tonight." She said and smoothed out her black pencil skirt.

"Well what if I have plans?" I didn't have plans; I just wanted to see what her reaction would be.

"Oh Isabella!" She laughed. "You have plans? I doubt it. So pick up your brother after school. Oh and Isabella, you shouldn't eat the sugar cereal, it'll just make you fatter." She shook her head once and walked out of the kitchen with a granola bar and a bottle of water.

Those little comments of hers fucking stung. I never, _ever _let rude comments get to me. But getting one from your own mother, no matter how much you hated her and no matter how horrible she was, really fucking stung.

Dad came bounding down the stairs a few minutes later. He came into the kitchen, grabbed a brown paper bag from the fridge and quickly walked out; not even acknowledging me. I sighed and stared at my now soggy cereal. I got up and put it in the sink. The clock told me it was 7:30; I picked up my bag and rummaged through it making sure I had everything I needed. Everything other then my sketchbook was there.

Alec came running down the stairs next.

"Morning Bella!" he beamed.

"Morning. Aren't you late for the bus?" I asked. He was usually standing at the bus stop with all his friends at this time. He nodded and grabbed the brown paper bag off the counter mom had probably left him.

"Bye Bella!" He waved and ran out the door.

Huh. The house was empty for once. No one would be back until later today. Maybe I could ditch and just have a day for myself. I threw my bag onto the nearest chair and plopped down onto the sofa grabbing the remote. I flipped through the channels for a bit, and then finally stopped on a boring sitcom that was supposed to be funny. My eye lids felt like they weighed a thousand pounds. I then realized how tired I was. I closed my eyes.

When I finally opened my eyes it looked like it was early afternoon. I had a dream where I had over dosed and no one ever _cared_. Everyone had just gone on with their lives as if I had never existed. A sudden wave of sadness rushed over me. _Oh hello there depression._ I sat up on the sofa and stretched my arms out in front of me and got up. I turned the TV off and walked up the stairs and into my bedroom.

My bedroom wasn't as big as I wanted it to be. Okay, it was a fucking shoebox. There was one, old, twin bed in the middle and a dresser with missing knobs and drawers pushed off to the side. The yellow curtains had holes in them and the carpet was stained. There were books and clothes all over the floor. Maybe I should clean this up, I said to myself.

I got down on my knees and started picking up all the books I had. I had _a lot_. They were mostly classics. I liked books because they were an escape from reality, everything would disappear and it felt like I was in a trance when I was reading. I had managed to put all of the books into three small piles on top of the dressed. I sighed and moved onto the clothes. I picked up an old band tee shirt and saw a small white pill.

"What the hell are pills doing on my floor?" I said to myself

_Remember when you tried to off yourself the other day?_ Right. That.

I crouched down to pick up the small tablets. I could only find four of them. I threw them in the trash in the bathroom and opened the medicine cupboard. There were a dozen or so little orange containers, with white labels on the shelves. Prescription pills. They were strong, like really strong.

_There's no better time to kill yourself._

I grabbed 3 of the containers, not caring which one and headed into my room. I opened them and pulled out four pills from every container. I would no longer be a waste of space. I would no longer be that emo, psychopathic chick. I would no longer be depressed. I would no longer be a part of this earth. Everyone would grow old, and forget about me. I smiled and popped most of the pills in my mouth. I grimaced at the bitter taste and waited a couple of seconds before popping the rest in and swallowed.

I sat down on the floor my back pressed to my bed and closed my eyes. I would only be a matter of minutes before I over dosed. Minutes later I felt myself slipping, no longer able to hold onto the psychological cliff.

"BELLA!" I heard a faint yell and a bunch of frantic footsteps.

"Oh no, no, no! Bella!" A panicked voice screamed. The voice got softer and softer as time ticked.

I let go of the ridge and fell.

**A/N: Hey y'all. This maybe it for poor Bella****. Next chapter will be EPOV. Reviews my dear, dear readers are love. Thank you for your support! I'll be getting off winter break next Monday so I won't be posting randomly anymore. Thank you for your support! By the way I know nothing about the process of how one OD's so please don't flame me. **

**Forever Yours –SweetestBitch **


	8. Chapter 8

**EPOV**

Everyone keeps a goddamn spare key outside their house right? _Right? _I frantically picked up the dirty little welcome mat, checked under the potted plant and even ran around to the back door to check if it was open.

Maybe I could pick the lock open. Nope. Never-mind. I don't have the right utensils. She would probably be dead by the time I got in there..

I sighed and looked once more. What. The. Fuck. There was a little green and yellow ceramic turtle sitting right by the goddamn plant. It looked way out of place. I kicked it over and bingo. There was a bronze little key sitting right under it. I picked it up and unlocked the door.

The house wasn't big by any means. I frantically checked the living room and kitchen they were on the first floor which meant Isabella was probably on the second floor. I ran up the creaky old wooden stairs and flew into the only room with a closed door.

And there laying on the floor was Isabella Swan.

"Oh shit! No, no no!"

I frantically grabbed my phone out of my pocket and dialed 9-1-1.

_"What's your emergency?" _Said the woman on the phone

"I need an ambulance! My friend over-dosed! She tried to kill herself."

_"Is she breathing?"  
_  
"I don't fucking know! I don't think so..please just send an ambulance!"

_"Please state your location."  
_  
"Uh shit. I don't know. Wait. Chief Swans house."

_"The ambulance will be there shortly sir, please stay calm."  
_  
I snapped the phone shut. How the fuck did she want me to stay calm in a situation like this.

I looked down at Isabella. She was so still..The scary part was that she looked so fucking peaceful. Her mouth was curved upwards so it sort of looked like she was smiling.

I knelt down and brushed the hair from her face.

About three minutes and forty-three seconds later the EMT's finally barged through the open door and up the stairs. They put Isabella onto the yellow gurney and into the ambulance. I hoped in the front, siting in the back creeps me out.

The ride there was tense to say the most. The driver kept side eyeing me. I ignored him and focused on the ride there, not wanting to admit that I might have been too late.

We arrived at the hospital and they rushed Isabella into the building before I could get out of the vehicle. I didn't get to see if she was alive or...dead. I trudged into the building and was met by my father.

"Edward? Why're you here in the middle of the day is everything okay?" His calm doctor persona was slowly fading and he was starting to panic.

"She's dead...I couldn't save her.." Was all I whispered.

"Edward you're not making any sense. Calm down son." He put his hand on my shoulder. My knees were about to buckle under me and my throat was closing up on me.

"Edward small deep breaths." He led me to one the grey chairs in the waiting room.

I had finally managed to calm myself down. My panic attack was completely unreasonable. Why did I care for this girls that didn't want to trust, or be my friend? Did I care for her at all though, or was she just a charity case to me? What the fuck was wrong with me, I didn't even know my own feelings. My father stared at my face waiting for me to completely calm down.

"Are you okay Edward? Are you ready to tell me what happened?" He said looking into my eyes. I proceeded to tell him the story about how I saw her scars and everything leading up to what happened today.

"I was too late wasn't I. When I got to her she was even paler then usual and she was so still." I whispered.

"Edward, I'll go check what happened with her. You wait here." He said and got up and walked out of the tiny room. I leaned back in my chair and closed my eyes.

The chief, and his wife walked into the room with a little boy who looked exactly like Bella. Oh, she was Bella now? I didn't acknowledge them.

"Mr and Mrs Swan?" Someone called. I snapped my eyes open and saw an old doctor walk in with a nurse in blue scrubs. The nurse took Bella's brothers' hand and lead him out of the room.

The doctor then sat down in a chair across from her parents and told them what had happened. I wasn't close enough to them to eavesdrop. The chief pulled his wife into a hug. For some reason it looked really fake, like it was just for show.

"Edward." I turned in my seat to face my father. I didn't notice he had sat down beside me I was too engrossed in the scene folding out before me.

"I checked with Dr. Jenks -her attending doctor and he said that he had pumped her stomach. You did good son, you got to her just in time. If you were five minutes late well..son she would have been gone. You did good."

"W-when will I be able to talk to her?" I asked.

"Well she's resting now. Getting your stomach pumped doesn't feel so great afterwards." He smiled sadly and patted my back and the got up and left.

I looked around the boring room noticing for the first time that Swans parents had left. They had probably went to go visit her. I sighed and got to my feet and walked to the receptionist.

"What room is Isabella Swan in?" I asked

"The girl that got her stomach pumped? She's in room 318 dear."

"Thanks." I muttered not wanting to bitch at her for calling her 'the girl that got her stomach pumped'; she should not be known for just that.

The hospital was tiny, jut like everything else in Forks. So her room wasn't hard to find. I was about to go in when I heard her mom yelling.

"Do you know how much your attention seeking stunt cost us, Isabella? It cost us A lot of money that we don't have." She snarled at Isabella. I was ready for Isabella to have some witty smart-ass comeback. But she didn't. She stayed quiet while her mom spat bullshit at her.

"You're just an ungrateful, worthless pain in my ass." She spat before walking out. Her heels clicked all the way down the hall. She didn't notice me standing by the door. I had decided this was not the time to go in the room to talk to her so I sat down in one of the chairs outside her room.

A little boy sat down two chairs away from me. Bella's brother.

"I'm Alec." He said quietly that I almost didn't hear him.

"Edward." I said.

"So my mommy told me you're the one that saved my sister." He said quietly. I nodded slowly.

"Thank you." He said.

"Uh, it was no problem." I said but it came out sounding like a question. He got up and sat down in the chair beside me.

"Are you Bella's boyfriend?" He asked shyly.

"What? No."

"Okay." He sat there swinging his legs. A couple of minutes later her mother went into Isabella's room. I stood up and went to her door; wanting to too hear what her mother was going to say now.

"I'll be back after work tomorrow you had better have gotten your ungrateful ass together by then." She spat and came out.

"Common Alec, we're going home." The demon spawn herself said.

"But I wanted to see Bella." Alec said softly.

"Not today. She needs to rest." She said firmly.

"Okay.." He said sadly and followed his mother down the hall.

I had no clue where the chief was, and I wondered why the fuck he wasn't here to see his own daughter when she attempted to commit suicide. Maybe he was a dick just like his bitch of a wife. I took a deep breath and walked into the room.

"Uh. Hi. How are you-" I was going to ask how she was feeling but she cut me off.

"Why did you save me Edward? Why? You know I wanted to die, so why couldn't you let me?" say said quietly but her voice was like venom.

"So..if you had the chance to save someone from dying wouldn't you do the same?" I retorted.

She shrugged.

"You didn't have to Edward. I have my own reason as to why I want to die.." She said

"And what would those reasons be?" I asked politely.

"I don't know. Like the feeling of worthlessness, being taunted every single day of my life. The feeling of not being good enough for anyone. How my parents treat me like shit, how I'm not pretty, smart or good at anything." Tears welled in her eyes and she quickly blinked them back.

I walked over and sat down in the plastic chair near by her bed and grabbed her hand. We both froze. I don't know what the fuck had compelled me to grab her hand but apparently I didn't mind. I rubbed circles into her hand with my thumb trying to calm her down.

"Let me be your friend Bella. You wouldn't have to be alone. Please don't close yourself off to the world."

"But you see Edward, closing myself off to the world and putting a wall up is how I deal with not getting hurt even more." She said sadly .

"Please." I begged and she sighed.

"Edward.."

"Please Bella."

"Fine, on one condition."

"Anything." I said immediately.

"You have to tell me why you suddenly care so much about me." She said looking me dead in the eyes.

I nodded.

"Okay then Edward. I'll be your friend. But if you give me one reason not to trust you, you'll never see me again." She warned.

I nodded and gripped her hand tighter. She would be okay..but for how long?

**A/N: Hi guys :) I'm vey pleased to see how many reviews I've gotten. Thank you so much! I think this is my favourite chapter so far. It's a lot longer then the others. Thanks again for reading. And thank you to my Beta for reading/editing and giving me some ideas/pointers for this chapter. I seriously would have gone into panic attack mode if it weren't for her. So thank you. Again I'm starting school tomorrow (Monday) and I won't be posting at like 2am anymore. It's back to the same Sunday schedule. **

**Forever Yours -SweetestBitch **


	9. Chapter 9

**Important A/N at the end of the story (must read)**

I lay back in the uncomfortable hospital bed. I wished I could get up and walk around but they wouldn't let me. The doctors all thought I would get myself into some 'trouble'. I even had to shower in the tiny bathroom attached to the room with the door slightly cracked open. Like seriously? I wouldn't try to kill myself in a goddamn hospital where someone could save me in less than a minute. It would totally defeat the purpose of attempting suicide if there were doctors and nurses all around save you.

You never know how much you could miss something until it's gone. In this case I missed my clothes. This thin hospital gown was scratchy and made me feel too exposed. Especially my arms. They had made me take off all my bracelets because apparently it was a hazard towards myself and because they wanted to check if my cuts were infected. They then decided to cut my bracelets off because they didn't want them dragging over top of my cuts and getting them infected even more. Of course they wouldn't listen when I told them I cleaned them after every time.

Edward hadn't left my side yet. It's been two days and he's still here. Frankly it was pissing me off.

"Edward you haven't been home in two days." I sighed

"Yeah, so?"

"I don't need you here twenty-four seven."

"I know but I just don't want to leave you right now." He said with a crooked smile.

"Edward you know I can't try anything here. At least go home and take a goddamn shower. You honestly reek. Like really bad."

"But I took a shower yesterday." He frowned.

"Yes. But it was in the hospital's bathroom. You've been wearing the same clothes for two days now. Go home and shower. It's almost time for my therapy appointment, and you know you can't be present for it."

"Shit. I guess you're right. Fine, I'll be back in an hour." He patted by hand and stood up.

"Sure. Okay."

He gave me one last look and walked out the door. I sighed a sigh of relief. The past two days with Edward were very tense to say the least. We barely talked. Well I talked he listened. He asked me questions about anything and everything, but when I went to go ask him something about his family or childhood he had waved it off and said it wasn't important. It really made me question him. How did he ask me all these questions and not expect that I would want to know a little something about him in return; no matter how irritating I thought he was. How could I trust him if he didn't tell me anything at all? Trust is something you gain, you don't just get it. I know that sounds cheesy but it's true.

A knock at the door pulled me out of my thoughts. A tall woman with straight blond hair and blue eyes walked into the room. Irina Denali. Yes _Denali_, she just happened to be Tanya Denali's sister. Just my luck.

"How are you, today Isabella?" She said with a sweet smile and pulled the chair that was across the room to my bed and sat down. She reached into her handbag and pulled out a small notebook and my file.

"Fine. Thanks and you?" I forced a smile for her benefit. Hey at least she wasn't a bitch.

"Great thank you. Now let's get started."

About a million bullshit questions and an hour later she was done. The doctors had decided that it would beneficial for me to talk to the therapist, even though I didn't want to. It's been two days and I'm still here. Don't get me wrong, this is a nice change than_ home _and I don't have to deal with my mom and dad on a daily basis_._ My mother has not been here to see me ever since the first day I was admitted in here. And truthfully I was happy that she wasn't here to put a fake caring face and pretend that she loved me and that she was the perfect mother. I think I might be the only person in the world that actually likes staying in the hospital. Maybe I am crazy. But hey, I have a valid reason right?

I heard clicking of high heels against the tile floor and then my door flew open and scared the hell out of me.

_Speak of the devil and she will arrive._

"Isabella." She said curly.

"Mother." I responded with a nod.

"How was your appointment with the shrink?"

"Fine."

"What do you mean _fine_? It costs 250 dollars for just an hour of therapy. It should be better than just fine." She said quietly the venom in her voice was burning.

"Well, what the fuck do you want me to say? 'Life changing,' or 'wow I'm all cured now, let's go home!" I said sarcastically.

"Don't use that tone with me young lady. Your stunt cost us a lot of money."

"Oh, I'm sorry, if I had just died you wouldn't have to spend any more money on me."

Someone cleared their throat at the door and I turned my head to see who it was. Dr. Cullen.

"Mrs. Swan visiting hours is over, but would you please come join me in my office? I would like to speak to you about Isabella's treatment." He said and motioned for her to follow him. Both of them walked out of the room without a word.

I lay down in my bed and stared at the ceiling for god knows how long.

There was another knock at the goddamn door. Why can't people leave me alone?

"Hello, Isabella."

"Dr. Cullen."

"Isabella, I just wanted to let you know that I will be your assigned doctor for now. Dr. Jenks decided that he wasn't equipped to deal with your _situation_. So if you ever want to talk just have one the nurses page me." He said softly

I nodded.

"Before I go, do you have any questions?" He asked.

"Not really. But when will I get out of here?"

He flipped a few pages in my file.

"Later tonight or early tomorrow morning."

I nodded and he walked out of the room.

I don't know when I dozed off but I did. I woke up to Edward sitting on the chair on the other side of the room fiddling with his phone.

"You're back." I said.

"I am." He smiled.

"Did your father tell you that he was now my doctor?" I asked.

"Yeah he did. He also came in here to tell you that you could go home, but you were sleeping and he didn't want to wake you."

"Seriously? I'm free?" He nodded and grinned.

"Your clothes are in that plastic bag." He pointed to the black bag on the floor.

"Thanks." I jumped out of bed and picked up the plastic bag and walked into the bathroom. I changed quickly and walked out.

"So can I leave now?"

"Not quite. You still have to fill out your release forms and go see my dad."

"Uh. Care to show me where your dad's office is?" I asked sheepishly

"Sure." He got up and pulled the door open for me. I followed him into the elevator and up to the third floor. We made a left at the end of the hall and he knocked on the first door on the right.

"Come in." Dr. Cullen said. Edward pushed the door open.

"Hello, Isabella. Here are your forms, fill those out then we can talk." He handed me a piece of paper with a clipboard. I quickly filled it out and handed it back to him. He looked it over.

"Great. Now, I want you to come and talk to the therapist every Friday after school. I took the liberty into getting your anti-depressant and anxiety pills for you." He handed me two bottles.

"Thanks. Dr. Cullen."

"It was no problem. You may go home now." He said. I nodded and walked out the door with Edward behind me.

"I guess I should call my mother and tell her to pick me up." I sighed.

"Oh no you don't." Edward said and grinned.

"What?"

"I told your mother that I would pick you up. So let's go." He pulled his car keys out of his pocket and practically dragged me out into the parking lot and towards his car. We both got in and he drove the ten minute drive to my house.

"Thanks for the ride Edward. You saved me a lot of awkward conversation between me and my mother." I said grateful.

"It was no problem, Isabella. What are friends for?"

"Edward, can I ask you something?" I asked.

"Shoot." He said.

"Why won't you tell me anything about yourself?" He tensed at my question and awkward silence filled the car.

"If you really want to know I'll meet you in your bedroom at midnight tonight." He said simply.

"My bedroom? Are you serious?" He nodded.

"How will you get in?"

"I'll climb the tree that's in front of your window, or I could use the spare key."

I nodded and walked across my lawn and into my house. I didn't even check to see who was home. I bolted up the stairs and into my room. I sat down on my bed and grabbed a book and waiting for midnight.

**A/N: Hello lovelies. First of all I changed the stories from 'Save Me from Myself' to 'Whispering Secrets' I thought it fitted better. Sorry if this caused any confusion. Second of all sorry for no update for two weeks. I've just been so busy with school and such, and my beta and I had an intense case of writers block. I was going to write this last Sunday but I was sort of depressed and in a 'fuck everything' mood. If I had written I would have killed Bella right there. So sorry. Next chapter we find out Edwards secret. **

**Forever Yours, -SweetestBitch **


	10. Chapter 10

It was thirty minutes to midnight and I was still sitting on my bed just thinking about anything and everything. The past few days we're really confusing to say the least. Everything that happened with Edward, and the suicide attempt. It really took a tole on my mind. I needed something familiar to hold on to for right now.

I was trying to distract myself from my teeth chattering. My father was too goddamn cheap to turn up the heat. Even though I had a blanket wrapped around myself it wasn't helping. At all. I finally gave up and got my towel and headed for the bathroom to take a shower. I had 20 minutes before Edward would show up. A part of me is expecting him not to show up and another part is saying he will show up and tell me something about himself. I'm just not looking forward to the awkwardness of the whole situation. I turned the water up until it was at its highest point. I just stood there letting the water relax my muscles. I got out of the shower when the water started to run cool. I dried myself quickly and wrapped the towel around my head and put on my red robe. I padded off barefoot to my room.

I opened up the door and my heart nearly stopped. I almost screamed bloody murder. I sank to the floor unsteadily.

"Bella, are you okay?" He asked alarmed.

"Yeah I'm fine." I got up onto my feet and he sat up on my bed. Even in the dark I could see his eyes rake over my body. He probably thought he was being inconspicuous. Pig. Then it dawned on me that I was only wearing a tiny robe that barely covered my ass.

"Get out Edward!" I nearly screamed.

"Wait What? Why?" He asked confused.

"Because I'm in a tiny ass robe and I need to get changed!"

"I'll turned around." He offered. I shook my head. I was not comfortable with him being in such close proximity while I got changed.

"Fine. I'll wait out in the hall." He got to his feet and tried to walk over with out stepping on any of my belongings. He accidently hit my shoulder which made my robe slip down; exposing my shoulder and upper back. The blood rushed to my cheeks and I quickly pulled the sleeve back up. He pretended not to notice. Edward proceeded to walk out. He closed the door behind him.

I rushed to get changed into my holey sweats. I quickly combed through my hair and opened the door expecting him to be standing right there. But of course, he wasn't.

"Edward?" I stage-whispered.

No response. I walked out and checked the bathroom, and it was locked. Expecting him to be in there I knocked.

"What?" A gruff voice rang out from the inside. Oh shit. Dad. What if he saw Edward.

"Uh. Nothing dad. Just wanted to use the bathroom. I'll just go use the one downstairs." I rushed out.

"Whatever." He responded.

I quickly bounded down the stairs and I only realized that Edward standing on the third to last step when I bounded into him. Hard. His arms encircled me tightly.

"Woah there. You okay?" He said softly. I could only nod.

"Lets go talk shall we?" He let go of me.

"Where can we go where your parents won't walk in on us?"

"The guest room." I walked past him and walked into the tiny room just to the left of the stairs. I called it the _blue room_. The carpet was a sky-blue colour and the walls were a shade a darker. The duvet on the bed a green-blue colour too. My mom went through a phase where she wanted everything to be blue.

"Jesus, this room is blue." Edward commented.

"Yeah, just the result of one of my moms phases." I laid down on the bed already really tired. He sat down at the foot of the bed and sprawled out his legs so they were by my head.

"So. You ready to talk?" I asked. He nodded.

"You ready to listen?" He asked and I nodded.

He took a deep breathe and began.

"When I was in the ninth grade I had a friend. His name was Micheal, I've known him since pre-school. One day when we went to the beach I saw he had bruises and scars from belts all over his back. So I asked him about it, and he completely broke down. His mother died when he was about three or four years old and his abusive father raised him. He got into some pretty heavy drugs, he started doing molly and heroin. The day I went to football camp he hung himself in his bedroom." He closed his eyes and it looked like he was having trouble breathing. He was having a minor panic attack.

"Breath Edward, Breath. It's okay." I reached over and grabbed his hand without even thinking about it.

When he was calm enough and he finally opened his eyes I gathered up the courage to ask him a question about the incident.

"Edward, how does this relate to me though?"

"I couldn't save him, but maybe I could save you." He said with a crooked, sad smile.

"Edward Cullen, you will not waste your time trying to save someone who is beyond saving." I quietly my voice cracking because I was trying not to cry. He shook his head.

"No one is _beyond_ saving Bella. If someone takes the time out of their lives to try to save someone they will be saved. My mom always used to say that." He said quietly. Tears welled in my eyes and I quickly blinked them back.

"Do you feel guilty about..you know, not being able to save him? You don't have to answer any of my questions if you don't want to." I said looking down and playing with my fingers.

"Maybe if I didn't go away when he absolutely needed me he would still be here. I would rather have him alive and fucked up then dead." His voice cracked on the last word.

"Do you take medication for your panic attacks?"

"I used to take Xanax before, but the panic attacks have lessened over the past two years so I stopped."

We both laid down on the bed, his feet were by my head and my feet by his. We were so drained by the heavy conversation we just had.

"Thank you for telling me Edward. To be honest I wasen't expecting you to show up." I admitted.

"It's my pleasure." He said yawning.

"Sweet dreams, Edward."

"Sweet dreams, Bella."

For the first time I felt something. Maybe Edward would be the one to need _me_ and I wouldn't need him. Though it would be nice to know I have someone to lean on when I need to vent or go to when I need to. Edward was snoring lightly and I drifted off to sleep.

**A/N: Hello lovlies! Happy Sunday! I hoped you like this chapter, it brought me to tears! If you don't know what 'Molly' (the drug) is, it's PURE ecstasy or MDMA or cocain all of the above. Thank you to my Beta for keeping me sane during this chapter. And a BIG THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU for reading my little story! Love you all! **

**Forever Yours, -SweetestBitch **


	11. Chapter 11

**This chapter mainly contains flashbacks and or dreams. Enjoy. **

_**Flashback, 2 years ago. **_

_**EPOV**_

_It was one of those days today. You know, one of those fucking days where you wake up and it's not cold? It was fucking sweltering outside. I woke up and I was sweating my balls off. It wasn't that hot out to be honest; but living in a place where it's freezing cold nine months out of the year, the warm weather was unexpected. I pulled on my grey tank top and my khaki shorts and went downstairs to grab some breakfast. _

_"Good morning, honey." My mom said threw a smile at me. _

_"Morning mom." I said and walked past her and into the kitchen. Mom and I had sort of a morning routine. She'd say morning and smile, I'd reply by saying 'morning' and then she'd ask me what I want for breakfast and what I had planned for the day. My mother and I didn't have much of a relationship. She did her thing, and I did mine. Mom was a saint, or a pushover. As a kid I always got my way, she never ever raised her voice at Emmett or I. _

_"What would you like for breakfast, sweetie?" She asked while staring into the open fridge. _

_"Peanut butter on toast with a glass of milk please." She grabbed the jar of peanut butter and the carton of milk out of the fridge and started humming. She spread peanut butter on the piece of bread and poured tall glass full of milk and set it in front of me. _

_"So, what do you have planned for today?" She asked and leaned on the counter. _

_"I don't know yet. Seeing as it's fucking hot outside, I might just go to the beach with Emmett, Rose, and Alice. I don't know if Micheal would be up for it. He hates the hot just as much as I do." _

_"Language. And have fun, I'm going to be stuck doing designs for this new music hall down in Port Angeles so you know where to find me." She kissed my forehead and walked out of the room after grabbing a bottle of water. I finished my toast and got up off the stool at the breakfast bar and put my plate into the sink. I pulled out the silver cell phone from my back pocket and dialed Micheal's number. It rang a few times and then he answered on the second ring. _

_"Hello?" He sounded groggy._

_"Hey, what's up?"_

_"Nothing. Drinking, smoking, playing video games." I sighed. That was all he seemed to do these days. _

_"You wanna come to the beach with Me, Emmett, Rose, and Alice?"_

_"Sure, sure. Pick me up in ten minutes." He said and hung up without saying bye. I snapped the phone shut and slipped it into my back pocket. I grabbed my car keys and my wallet and went outside and started up my Volvo. Micheal lived just fifteen minutes away from me. I had called up both Rose and Alice and Emmett and told them to meet us down at First Beach in La Push. La Push was a tiny little reservation run by a bunch of Native Americans that believed in way to many fucking legends. _

_I parked outside of Micheal's house and got out. I could already hear him screaming at the video game he was playing. I knocked on his door and he screamed 'it's open' from the inside. I opened the door and the smell of weed mixed with vodka and beer assaulted my nose. _

_I walked inside and he was sitting in his living room, feet propped up onto the old glass coffee table with a controller in one had and bottle of vodka in the other. His house was a mess, like usual. His father was away on business a lot and his mother had passed away while he was still little. _

_"You ready to go?" I asked. _

_"Yep." He said and he got to his feet and turned off the t.v. he slipped on his shoes and we both walked out of the house and into my Volvo. We drove 20 minutes to First Beach, we saw Emmett trying to throw Alice into the water while Rose was sitting on a towel working on her tan. We both got out and I grabbed the football from the back seat and jogged up to where Emmett was standing. _

_"You up to play football?" _

_"Bring it man." He grabbed the football from my hands and ran away to the other side of the beach he stuck his tongue out like the immature fucker he was. I ran after him and Micheal tackled Emmett from behind. I grabbed the football from his hands and ran with it. About half an hour of this bullshit we decided to go sit on the logs around the little pit created for bon fires. Alice and Rose were playing volleyball on the other side of the beach. _

_"I'm gonna go help Rose out. Alice is kicking her ass at volleyball." Emmett said and jogged over to them. Micheal was still panting from the game. He took of his grey shirt that he had sweat right through. He turned around to stretch and then I saw his back. Long scars criss-crossed along his back, they looked like belt marks. I gasped and he looked around to face me._

_"W-what happened to you?" I stuttered. Tears welled in his eyes right when I got out the last word. I went over and sat down beside him._

_"My dad happened." He croaked out. I waited patiently for him to tell me the whole story._

_"M-my dad beats me." He said quietly and buried his head in his hands._

_"How long?" I asked._

_"Since my mom died. I think he used to hit her to." _

_"You need to tell someone. Please." I pleaded. _

_"I can't Edward, if I tell someone they'll put me into the system. They'll put me in foster care or something and I don't want that. My father's never home so it's not like it happens often. Please don't tell anyone." He was slowly breaking down piece by piece. _

_"I won't tell anyone, I promise. But will you promise me that if he tries something worse you'll tell someone, anyone? He nodded. _

_Flashback over**_

I opened my eyes and found Isabella's chocolate brown ones staring into mine.

"Are you okay Edward? You woke me up when you kicked me in the head. Seemed like you were having a pretty intense dream." She said with a crooked smile.

"Yeah I had a dream about the day he told me what was going on. I still remember it like it happened yesterday. I'm sorry that I kicked you in the head."

"It's okay. It's time to get up for school anyways. Do you want to go or do you want to skip?" I snorted.

"Since when does Isabella Swan skip school?" I asked and sat up on the bed.

"Since now." She said and stood up.

"I think we should go to school though. You've missed a lot. And plus my parents think I fell asleep at Jasper's because we needed to pull an all nighter for a project. My dad will have my ass if the school calls him at work to tell him I didn't go to school."

"I guess you're right." She sighed.

"Of course I am. Now go get your stuff, I'll wait here." Isabella walked over to the door and carefully opened it up and peered into the hall before bolting up the stairs. I went and closed the door behind her and sat down in the middle of the bed; crossing my legs.

Isabella came back into the room a few minutes later with her old, dirty orange backpack.

"How long have you had that backpack?" I asked randomly.

"I don't know. Since eighth grade?" I nodded. We quietly headed out of the house and into my Volvo which I had parked near the forest of to the side of her house. It was still pretty early to leave for school. We still had another forty-five minutes until the first bell rang.

When we got to school the only place we could hang out without freezing to death was the library. We sat down at one of the many grey tables at the back. Isabella opened her backpack and pulled out her iPod and a battered book.

"Watcha reading?"

"Wuthering Heights." She said and I snorted.

"Don't appreciate good litterature? Have you even read the book?"

"I have and I don't care for it much." There was fire burning in her eyes.

"And why don't you care for it?"

"The main characters, Cathy and Heathcliff, are horrible. They're rotten people. The plot is twisted and dark. Just not my thing."

"Those are the exact reasons why I love the book. Cathy is a selfish bitch; Heathcliff is a shortempered, violent, awful man. That's kind of what makes it so romantic- their love is their only redeeming quality. Heathcliff is vile, but the way Emily Bronte wrote his character, she is so good at portraying that desperate, deranged, passionate emotion those deprived of love feel. Their love story is an unhealthy love, an obsessive, destructive love. It's actually more of a story of obsession and revenge than it is of love." I gaped at her.

"So I take it you're passionate about books." She shook her head.

"Not just books, music and movies too. I'm a total nerd." She smiled.

We talked about Classic books and what makes them good and what makes them bad. She had some valid points. The bell rang signaling that we needed to head to our first class. Both of us got up and I followed her out of the library and into the hall. I didn't walk with her, but behind her. I didn't want people thinking I was _with_ her.

Tanya was waiting at the locker beside hers and I wanted to ram my head into the wall. Did she really need to make fun of her today? Did she have no heart? Probably. But that's beside the point. By now the whole school has probably heard about the almost suicide.

"Well aren't you just an attention seeker. We heard about your little attempt." She sneered. Isabella ignored them and opened her locker grabbed her things and walked straight past them. I wished she would use some of that fire she uses with me when I piss her off. I walked her to her English class and I went the other way to my Government class.

**A/N: Hello lovlies! Happy Sunday. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It was one of my longer ones, the word count was 2,056 so proud of myself. I really do hope you enjoyed this chapter even though it consisted of a flashback. Thank you to my Beta for keeping me sane and kept me from having a mental break down. Until next time. Next chapter at 80 reveiws. **

**Forever Yours -SweetestBitch**


	12. Chapter 12

I really do try not to let Tanya get to me, but her words were still ringing in the back of my mind all day. It was a total attention whore move on my part. Even I admit that, but when I did it I wasn't thinking about that. It wasn't a cry for attention, it was the only way out at the time.

I was surprised Edward didn't lash out at her when she said that, but I understand why he didn't. He didn't want people to get the wrong impression. He didn't want people to think he was doing this out of pity (which he sort of was) but still, he didn't want people to know that. Also, if people found out he was hanging out with me it would hurt is reputation; not to mention how his friends would react. Though, Emmett and Alice didn't seem that bad, Rosalie was a total bitch; a judgmental bitch actually.

For the first time since eighth grade I bought my lunch and actually sat down and ate in the cafeteria. I sat the table at the very back with my headphones in, feet up onto another chair and my nose in a book. Sure, people did stare. I didn't notice..much. I occasionally looked up and around the tiny room. Everyone had their own clicks- the freshmans hung out together, the popular people, nerds, burnouts, and then the people that weren't exactly 'burnouts' but very low on the popularity scale. Then there was me. With no clique, no friends, no group.

Edward occasionally glanced at me but didn't come to sit with me or anything, and I was okay with that. I didn't need even more attention drawn to me.

The rest of the day dragged on, and on. I had stayed behind to finish a late assignment. Mom would have my ass because I forgot to call and tell her I would be late, but what are you going to do? I finished everything and walked out into the empty parking lot. It was four o'clock and there were no cars in the parking lot, other thAn the teachers and the familiar silver Volvo. The was loud music pulsating out of it. I walked over and peaked inside to see Edward sitting in there bobbing his head to the beat. I knocked on the window and stepped back. He rolled down the window and he looked surprised to see me.

"Hey."

"Hi." He turned the radio down and pulled the key out of the ignition and stepped out.

"What are you doing here so late?" I asked.

"Waiting for you."

"Me? Why?"

"I was wondering if you wanna hang out or something tomorrow. Y'know, since we have that science project due and stuff." He asked awkwardly. I groaned inwardly. I had totally forgot about the project. Mr. Banner had assigned us an assignment, we had to see how well plants of the same species grow under different colored lights, using white light as the control. Stupid, I know. When would we really use this in the real world?

"My house tomorrow after noon works. My parents are taking my brother out to Port Angeles so the house will be empty. So, no raging moms and dads' that have a gun running around the house."

"Sure, that works. See you then. He got into his car and then sped off. I sighed and adjusted my backpack on my shoulder and walked off towards my truck. I turned the ignition and the trucked roared to life. It startled me for a moment, I looked around to see if anyone noticed; thankfully, no one was around. I pushed my truck to its limit, not wanting to be even more late and have to deal with the wrath of my mother.

I parked the truck on the curb and hopped out after grabbing my book back. I grabbed the key from my back pocket and unlocked the door.

"And where were you young lady?" My mothers voice rang out from where she planted her ass on the sofa in the living room.

"Uh, school?"

"It's four-thirty, you get off from school at two-thirty. Mind explaining where you were for the past two hours?' She was now standing in front of me and fuming for a reason that was unknown. God this bitch can over react.

"Again. I was at school. I had stayed behind to finish a project." I crossed my arms over my chest and tried to stare her down.

"And you couldn't call?"

"I forgot my phone." I said bluntly, not wanting to deal with her bullshit yet again.

"I don't pay for your phone for you to forget it."

"Wow you pay a whole fifteen bucks a month. I forgot it once, I won't happen again." I pushed passed her and went into the kitchen. I grabbed an apple and a box of crackers. I wouldn't be emerging from my bedroom tonight.

I ran up the stairs with my bag slung over my shoulder. I pulled out my math homework. I tried to solve a few world problems but gave up and moved onto English. English was my strong suit, I could read or do a book response for hours and it wouldn't seem like work.

Finally, when it was an acceptable time to go to bed I layed down in bed with a book. Everything was so off lately; with Edwards unexpected friendship, and what-not. I don't know when but I finally fell asleep (without the help of sleeping pills I must add).

I woke up and it was sunny outside for once. Yes it was sunny, but there was still frost on the ground. It was Saturday, that was a plus. My parents were also out for the day and that was another plus. And Edward was coming over in two and a half hours. I didn't know whether to be happy, sad, or pissed. I would much rather sleep all day. I went and made myself breakfast and sat down on the sofa and watched some TV and waited for Edward to come over.

"Hey." A random voice called out. Oh my fucking god, who the hell was in my house? I slowly turned my head and saw that it was Edward, I sighed- relived.

I had gotten caught up in a show where it showed a bunch of hoarders and how they lived and what not. I didn't even head Edward knock.

"Ever hear of knocking Edward?" I asked irritated.

"Yep. And I did knock. Twice. And very loudly I must add." He said with his cocky little grin. He picked up a plastic bag off the floor and pulled out three little ceramic pots filled with dirt. There was already a little green sprout growing out of one of them.

"I have the lamps and the little coloured pieces of plastic in my room." I said and ran up the stairs. I grabbed the three lamps off my desk and grabbed some tape and the pieces of plastic. I ran back down the stairs and saw that Edward was sitting on my sofa with his feet kicked up onto the glass coffee table.

"Please do make yourself at home." I said sarcastically. He looked up and grinned at me.

"I shall." He replied and crossed his arms behind his head. I rolled my eyes and got to work. I taped the coloured pieces of see-through plastic onto the glass part so the light coming out of it was now red, blue or green. I positioned the plants under them and sat back.

"Now what?" He asked from his place on the sofa.

"Nothing. Now I'll monitor the growth and compare it to the one not in the coloured light." I said simply and sat back down on the floor.

An awkward silence filled the room.

"You hungry?" I asked awkwardly and stood up on my feet.

"I could eat'"

I pulled out left overs from last night. Turns out that my parents had Italian food. Go figure. I spooned out everything evenly onto two plates and stuck it into the microwave and watched it revolve once, twice...ten times. I pulled the plates out and set them onto the table and poured two glasses full of iced tea. We both ate in a comfortable silence.

We both heard the front door unlock and we both froze at the same time. Both of our eyes mirrored panic. My fathers heavy footsteps became louder, and louder until he finally stopped in the door way to the kitchen.

"Who's your friend..sweetie." He asked calmly.

"Uh. Dad, this is Edward." I said looking down at my plate.

"Sir." He said. He was trying hard not to freak out, if I could tell, then my father could tell too.

"And what is he doing here?"

"Bella and I had a science project to do." Edward replied for me, his voice strong.

Mom and Alec were now standing behind dad. Mom was trying so hard not to blow up and Alec was staring at Edward with a look I couldn't decipher.

"We'll be upstairs if you need us, honey." Mom replied and half dragged dad up the stairs. Oh god, they were faking nice which meant they would freak out on me later.

"Edward. They're going to kill me. I know it. Please just take me somewhere- anywhere. Please." I was on the verge of hysterics. I know I might be over reacting but I was genially afraid of my father when he was pissed off. Seeing Edward sitting in his chair in his kitchen might just set him over the edge.

Something in my eyes made him comply because the next thing I knew we were speeding off to god knows where. I closed my eyes wished I could disappear.

The car finally skidded to a stop and I realized that we were at Edwards' house.

"Why'd you bring me here?"

"Because you said anywhere, and I bet this counts as anywhere. My mother will be so happy to see you." I almost wanted to facepalm. Edward and Carlisle used to babysit me while mom was at work, I was about three or four years old back then.

I reluctantly got out of the car and headed into the house. We were greeted by Edwards parents. Esme had her feet in her husbands lap and he was rubbing them while she read a book. The sight was so sweet I wanted to cry. They both looked up and saw us standing there and got up and walked over to us.

"Dr. and Mrs. Cullen." I said politely.

"Don't you mean Essy and Carlie." Esme winked and I groaned and blushed a shade of red. Edward was trying hard not to laugh and Carlisle was grinning ear to ear.

"Please do call us Esme and Carlisle, Bella." Esme said and pulled me into a hug.

"So, what brings the both of you over?" Carlisle wondered.

"Science project, and change of scenery." Edward said.

"I'll be up with snacks later kids. Have fun." Esme said and headed into the kitchen. I followed Edward up to the third floor to his bedroom.

**A/N: Hello lovlies! Sorry I updated a day late, that's my fault. RL is being a total bitch to me and kicking my ass. I really don't have much to say except that I'm sorry. Oh! And I changed my fic banner. All the credit goes to Miamu. And thank you to my Beta for pre-reading (this week she didn't keep me sane because she was MIA all day today LOL) Anyways, thanks for reading. Next update at 91 reviews. **


	13. Chapter 13

Tears fill my eyes, but I never let them fall. Never do I want to feel weak again. The smell of fresh baked cookies wafts up the stairs and into his room.

I've planted myself on the floor; on the thick, gold carpet. My arms are wrapped around my knees which are pulled up and tucked under my chin. Edward is sitting on the edge of his bed, quietly strumming his guitar and humming a soft melody.

Memories of fun, happy, simpler times fill my mind: climbing up onto the counters and secretly eating the cookie dough out of the mixing bowl. Mom always knew, she would turn and face the other way. Smiling. She would 'punish' me by chasing me around the house and tickling me until I was about to pee from laughing so hard.

I was happy. Really _fucking_ happy. I wish I could go back to my childhood. But I can't. I'll be stuck in this misery for another year. Then I can move out, go to college. Have fun. Meet people that don't know me as 'that-weird-depressed-chick'. I can be _happy_. Have a new, _fresh_ start.

Two timid knocks at the door pull me out of my mind. Mrs. -uh, Esme walks in with a large wooden tray. Two small plates with fresh baked cookies, two chicken-salad sandwiches, and two cans of coke. She places it on Edwards's desk.

"Enjoy." She smiles.

"You really didn't have to, Esme." I say feeling guilty that she went to all the trouble. I didn't like being waited on.

"Nonsense. It was nothing Bella, no trouble at all." She said and made her way over to me and patted me on the shoulder.

"Thank you." Both Edward and I say at the same time. She smiles and kisses Edward on the forehead. I sigh and wish my parents would show me the same affection.

I stare off into space and think about everything I've ever done and at what point in my life I started disappointing them.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Edward asks while opening his coke. He took a sip; his eyes boring into mine. Deep green staring into my soul.

"It's nothing. Just thinking."

"Wanna talk about it?" He asks gently.

"Nope." I answer an edge to my voice.

"Okay." He answers simply; not pushing the issue. I throw him a sheepish smile. He responds with a crooked smile of his own.

I pick up my sandwich and take a bite. It's delicious; of course, it's nice enjoying good food that I didn't have to make myself. I break a cookie in half and slowly munch on it.

"Don't like it?" He asks suddenly, studying my face.

"No! No. It's really good; I'm just too wrapped up in my mind." Another coy smile. I get up onto my feet and slowly stretch. I walk on over to his desk, studying a pile of books. A familiar title catches my eye and I gasp.

"Find something you like?" Edward asks behind me. I can almost hear the grin in his voice. I pick up the book and whirl around to face him.

"I thought you didn't like this book?" My statement sounded like a question.

"Yeah, well, after hearing your views on the novel I thought I'd give it another try."

I walk over to my spot on the floor and lay down on my back. I flip through pages in the book finding my favourite section.

I read for a bit. Edward stares at me for a bit until he finally gives up analyzing my face and starts reading his own book.

My eye lids close and my hands fall to my sides. For a moment I forget where I am, where I'm laying. I feel a hand slip under my legs and under my shoulders. I'm suddenly lifted off the floor. My eyes fly open and I'm suddenly in Edwards arms. He doesn't realize I'm partially awake. He gently lays me down in the bed and throws the covers over me. I peek through half-closed eye lids and see Edward pick up the book off the floor and sit down on the leather sofa. He rubs his eyes and sighs deeply. Something's bothering him, but I'm too much of a coward to ask. I close my eyes and pretend to sleep hoping I'd actually fall asleep.

xX

I jolt up ramrod straight in the bed; I focus my attention on Edward who is now laying beside me, eyes tracing lines on the ceiling.

"What time is it?" I ask, panic threatening to bubble over.

He looks at his silver watch. "Six thirty. Why?"

"My parents, they're going to kill me. They obviously don't know I'm here; and as you know they aren't very _rational_." I jump out of the bed and start pacing the room. The carpet tickling my bare feet. I guess at some point he took of my shoes.

"Bella, calm down. They can't hurt you, sure they can yell at you, break you down; but they can't put a finger on you. When they do start to yell at you, promise me that you won't give them the satisfaction of reacting. _Please._"

"I won't. Promise." I stop pacing for a moment.

"How did you end up in the bed beside me?" I ask suddenly

"I walked." He smirks. I glare back.

"Okay, calm down, you were having a nightmare and were whimpering and about to cry so I thought I'd wake you up. But you didn't, so I just stayed. By the way, you sleep like the dead."

"Quick question, do your parents know I'm still here and is your brother here?" I ask

"Yeah, mom came in a while ago to get the plates and stuff and saw you fast asleep. I don't think Emmett's home. He's usually with Rose on Saturday's."

"Speaking of Rose. I honestly don't mean to sound rude, but why are you friends with her in the first place? She's a total _bitch._ You don't have to answer if I'm stepping over a line."

He sighs.

"Rose has her own issues, it's not my place to tell, but the _incident_ made her bitter, cold hearted. I still don't condone her behavior. She honestly has no right to take her anger out on everyone around her. But that's Rose. It defines her, plus she's really not that bad once you really get to know her. She really does have a big heart." He says honestly. I nod, not knowing how to respond.

"Thank you." I blurt out.

"What for?" He asks. Brow creased.

"For being there for me. Even though it might be because you feel bad for me, or you pity me, or you just want a clear conscious. _Thank you_.

"You're welcome Bella."

Another two timid knocks sound at the door and it opens a few moments later.

"Dinner's ready. Bella, would you like to join us?" Esme asks.

"No thank you Esme. Edward was just about to take me home, my parents are expecting me. Thank you for the offer though." She gives me a quick kiss on the cheek and walks out of the room.

"Since when did I agree to take you home?" He smirks.

"Since I told Esme you would. Grab your car keys Cullen."

**A/N: Hello lovelies. Sorry for no update for the past two weeks. School and real life is being a bitch towards me and I just can't deal right now LOL. Thank you to my Beta for pre-reading. Also, thank you to **_**'Marinasensei' **_**for the best review ever. Thank you for reading, and please review. I also wanted to let you know, that I'm starting Spring break soon (March 15****th****) which means two updates a week ****. Good night and happy readings. **

**Forever Yours, -SweetestBitch **


	14. Chapter 14

After we bade good bye to Edward's parents we drive home. The car ride was silence and the awkward silence was palpable. This was just the calm before the storm; dad would probably be up waiting for me. I could picture it now: him sitting in that shabby, old chair in the dark; with a glass of whiskey in his right hand and the bottle in his left. Mom would be upstairs and wait for her chance to corner me.

"Welcome to Hell." Edward's voice rang out. He parked near the forest beside my house, not wanting to be seen. I glared at him.

"What? You'd have to be crazy not to compare this place with Hell." He said grinning and throwing his palms up in front of himself in surrender.

"Thanks for the ride." I whispered, not wanting to leave the safety of the car. I opened the door and threw a foot out onto the muddy ground.

"Bella, wait." I turned around to face him. He leaned over the center console and his face was mere inches away from mine. I sucked in a breath and bit my lip, suddenly nervous. My stomach churned- or was it butterflies?

"Remember what you promised me." He whispered. His breath blew onto my face; the smell of mint mixed with something else assaulted my senses, leaving me dazed for a moment. I simply nodded, not trusting my voice.

What was wrong with_ me_?

I walked diagonally across the lawn, my feet sinking into the mud. I grabbed the spare key from under the turtle and unlocked the door. I placed the key back and stepped inside, kicking the door closed. I removed my shoes and as quietly as possible made my way to the stairs hoping my father wouldn't hear.

"Isabella, can you come here for a moment?" My father's gruff voice rang out from the living room; it was obvious that he was drunk. I dreaded the ten step walk to the living room entrance. I swallowed my fear and shuffled my feet until I was standing at the entrance.

"Y-yes Dad?" I stammered. I chastised myself for it, he'd obviously see it as weakness and that I was scared out of my mind.

"Where did you run off to, tonight?" He said. His eyes were boring into my eyes- staring into the deepest pits of my soul.

"Edward's house. He uh, forgot most of the things for the project at his house so he thought it'd be easier if I went with him instead of him leaving and coming back." I rattled off in one breath. I could tell he could see my apprehension.

"Is that all you did Isabella? Work on the project?" He swirled the whiskey around in the glass and took a sip.

I merely nodded.

"So tell me something, Isabella, is he your boyfriend?"

"He isn't my boyfriend. I mean he doesn't even like me." I whispered.

"Good. I hope you realize how worthless you really are then. You do realize no boy would ever want you, right? You're worthless. God I can't wait to get rid of you. Go now, you're excused." He waved me away and poured more liquor into his glass.

I ran up the stairs and into my room, tears threatening to fall from the brim of my eyes. I wondered why I even let my father get to me. I slammed the door and locked it and collapsed on the floor.

I needed to relive some of that pressure and self loathing. I got up onto my feet and went to my dresser, opening the bottom drawer. I put out the little metal container and opened it. There lay my razors, a couple of band aids and my sleeping pills.

I pulled out the tiniest yet sharpest blade and pulled up my sleeve.

"You do it and I swear to go I'll call the police right now!" A muffled voice screamed. Panicked, I threw the container and my blade into the corner of my bedroom. I frantically pulled down my sleeve and looked around the room to see where the voice had come from.

A soft knock came from the window and I whirled around to look at it. There perched in the tree was- of course- Edward-fucking-Cullen.

"Open up. It's nipples cutting glass cold out here." He said and shivered theatrically. I rolled my eyes at his antics and opened the window. He climbed inside and closed the window behind him.

"What are you doing here Edward?" I sighed and sat down on the middle of my bed.

"Y'know, just came to see how you were doing, how life is and all that bullshit." He said sarcastically and planted himself in the rocking chair near my dresser.

"Stop it Edward."

"Something told me you wouldn't hold out on your promise. So I thought I'd be a hero and save you and shit." He grinned cockily.

"Okay. Mission accomplished. You saved me. Now leave." I pointed to the window.

"Nope. I'm quite comfortable here. And plus, who knows, you might attempt again." He crossed his arms over his chest knowing I couldn't make him leave; even though technically this was -is- my house.

"What about your parents? What will they think? I'm pretty sure I heard your mom say 'drop her home and then come straight back.'"

He shrugged and pursed his lips before pulling his phone out. He sent a quick text and then waited for a reply.

"Who'd you just text?"

"My parents."

"May I ask what you told them please?" I folded my hands in my lap.

"I told them your parents invited me in to watch a movie and that I'll probably end up sleeping over." He explained.

"Well make yourself comfortable because I'm still pissed at you." I said and crossed my arms over my chest; mirroring his position.

"Aw, are you really that pissed at me? I'm not going to apologize for saving your life."

"Yes. I really am that pissed at you. You know I don't want to be saved. Edward. I. Am. Not. Michael." I fell back onto my pillow and grabbed the other pillow and put it over my face. I waited for his witty come back but it never came. Minutes ticked and I stayed in the same position; too scared to see the emotion his face held.

I slowly peeked out from under the pillow and his face was pale white. All emotion wiped off, a hard mask replaced his usually friendly face.

"God Edward, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean that." I rushed out. He waved me off.

"You did mean it, Bella, and it's okay." He whispered, obviously pained. An odd urge to run over and give him a hug over whelmed me.

"You can come lay down with me if you'd like. I mean that chair can't be comfortable." I blurted out suddenly; it felt like there was no filter between my brain and my mouth tonight. Everything just came tumbling out.

He looked at me with confusion, contemplating my offer. I sat up slowly and moved from the middle to the side of the tiny twin bed. He got up and stood next to the bed his eyes asking me 'are you sure?'. I nodded and patted the spot beside me. He sat down and crossed his stretched his legs in front of him and leaned on the headboard. I layed down and played with my fingers.

"Don't your friends and your brother wonder where you are these days?" I asked randomly, trying to make conversation.

"Yeah I guess. I mean, Rose and I aren't close; Jasper just hangs out with us just because Alice is best friends with Rose and Emmett. Though Jasper is pretty cool. And Emmett is my brother so.." He trailed off.

"It must be nice having friends." I muttered. Again, no filter between my brain and mouth tonight.

"It wouldn't be so hard if you were social."

"That's the thing Edward, I'm not social. I'd rather stay at home and read and watch movies." I explained. It sounded stupid because I could stay at home and watch movies and still have friends.

"Maybe you could sit with us at lunch tomorrow or something..." He trailed off suggestively.

"Yeah, no thanks. I think I've said this before but what about your reputation? And what about the fact that they'll think I'm your new charity case? I don't need another label."

"None of that matters. Maybe people will get off your back when they see you with me. I mean, common, look at me."

"God your such an arrogant asshole." I nudged his ribs with my elbow.

"I know." He winked, smirking.

"Fine. What about Rose, Jasper, Emmett and Alice? What will they think? I mean, I really don't have a problem with either Emmett or Alice-even though she's a hyper freak."

"Fuck whatever those motherfuckers think." God he really needed to clean up his language.

"Those curse words weren't even necessary." I snorted. He shrugged.

I yawned and pulled the covers over myself.

"Tried are we?" Edward said quietly. I nodded, already dozing off.

"Goodnight." He said and I swear to God he pressed his lips to my hair and then to my forehead. I was too out if it to actually comprehend anything.

**A/N: Hello lovelies, thank you for reading. Just one thing I need to quickly comment upon: I only got ONE review last chapter which hurt me a lot (not really but y'know). I hope you guys are still with me. Thank you to Krizo93 because she was the only one that reviewed. Guys I really need your feedback. So, 10 reviews then I'll post the next chapter. As I said in my previous chapter over Spring Break (which starts March 15) I'll probably update TWICE a week because I have no life. Thank you to my beta for reading. Until next time xoxo**

Forever Yours, -SweetestBitch


	15. Chapter 15

I had woken up almost two hours ago. I woke up in a daze, for a moment I couldn't remember where or who I was with. I had woken up wrapped in Edward's arms, and my head was on his chest. Now there's a sentence I thought I would never say. I just didn't have the heart to wake Edward up; he looked so peaceful. So I decided I would just lay there until my alarm went off. Edward was snoring lightly in my ear. There was light pooling in from the window. I closed my eyes and tried to enjoy the peacefulness before I would have to get up and deal with everyone at school. I closed my eyes for a moment and the next thing I knew my alarm was going off. Edward's snores faltered and his arms tightened around me, which made it harder to get out and press the snooze button on my alarm clock. His snores started back up- louder this time. After a few minutes of trying to pry myself free I gave up. How the hell could he sleep through a blaring alarm?

"Edward, wake up." I said and tried to kick his leg with my foot. After a few more nudges and attempts to break free he finally woke up. His arms loosened around me and he let me go so he could rub his eyes.

"What time is it?" He groaned and sat up.

"Six forty-five. We were supposed to be up ten minutes ago but you sleep like the dead and have arms made of steel; which made it impossible for me to break free, since you had crushed me to your chest during the night. If I wasn't crushed to your chest I would have given up trying to wake you up the polite way and kicked you off this bed." I threw the purple duvet off myself and got up. I grabbed my toiletries bag off my desk and took a quick glance out the window to see if my parents were home. They weren't. Thank God.

"You really think I have arms made of steel? Why thank you." He said and started flexing his arms. I groaned and threw my battered book at his head- which he neatly dodged by getting up off the bed.  
"Stop being an ass and hurry up. We're going to be late for school. You can use the bathroom across the hall; I'll use the one downstairs. There are clean towels in the cabinet by the stairs if you want to shower or something, help yourself." I turned on my heel and ran down the stairs. I really didn't take that long getting ready for school but I just needed to clear my head for a moment.

I brushed my teeth, and quickly combed through my hair. I opted to skip my shower this morning to save time. I threw everything back into the clear bag and left it on the counter. I walked into the kitchen and got breakfast started. I popped a couple of frozen waffles into the toaster and poured three glasses of orange juice. Alec would be up soon so I would have to make him something too. I sat the glasses down on the table. I leaned against the sink and looked out the window into the fog. It felt like I was in a trance or something. The sound of the toaster startled me and I laughed at myself for getting scared. I grabbed a couple of plates and placed the waffles on them, which I then placed on the table.  
I sighed and decided to go get ready while Edward was in the shower, I went into the downstairs bathroom and grabbed my bag and started up the stairs. I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking until I bumped into a very wet and naked Edward. He had a towel wrapped around waist and water dripping from his hair. My eyes un-volunteeringly racked up and down his body. He smirked at my reaction.

"Uh, crap, sorry! I just- I wasn't watching where I was walking and..."

"Bella." He cut me off. "It's fine." He said still smirking.

"I-uh, there's breakfast on the table." I said, my eyes locked onto his face.

"Thank you. Did you need something from your room?"

"Uh, it can wait. Go get dressed; I need to see if Alec is up anyways." I turned on my heel and knocked on his bedroom door which was right beside mine. I opened the door and he was sitting up on his bed already dressed. He was playing a game on one of his many portable gaming systems. I gave up on trying telling them apart.

"Hey why didn't you come down stairs?"

"I thought you were still sleeping." He said, turning his attention back to the game.

"Well common. You're going to be late for your bus if you don't hurry up and get downstairs for breakfast." I grabbed his black backpack off the floor and turned to face him. He skipped passed me and down the stairs. I started behind him and bumped into Edward again at the foot of the stairs.

"Shit. You scared me." He said; his breathing erratic.

"I got to watch where I walk." I mumbled to myself. I walked past him and into the kitchen. Alec had already seated himself and was eating. Edward trailed behind me and Alec froze.

"What's Edward doing here?" He asked, obviously confused.

I froze. I wanted to kick myself for not thinking of a cover story. I quickly racked my brain for cover stories.

"I came by to see if Bella needed a ride and she invited me in for breakfast." He said smoothly. I threw him a grateful glance. He nodded slightly and threw a crooked smile at me. Both of us sat down at the old wooden table and began to eat in silence. I glanced up at the clock and saw we had to leave in ten minutes and I wasn't even ready.

"Crap. I need to go get dressed. Excuse me." With that I bolted up the stairs and into my room. I put on the first things my hands touched and threw my hair into a quick knot at the top of my head. I grabbed my backpack from behind my door and slung it over my shoulder. I ran down the stairs and put my shoes on.

"Edward! Hurry up!" I yelled and slipped my shoes on and leaned against the wall by the door. Edward came walking in with Alec trailing behind him. I helped Alec put his jacket and shoes on and he left before Edward or me. I opened the door and Edward stepped out and I followed.

"Is the Volvo parked in the same spot?" I asked, hinting at that I wanted to ride with him this morning.

"Yeah. I think so." We walked across the front lawn and the Volvo was still parked off to the side near the forest. Edward pressed the unlock button on the car remote and the headlights flashed. I opened up the passenger door and slid in. Edward started off the car and we quietly sped towards the school. I leaned my head up against the cool glass. Edward nudged my shoulder and I opened my eyes to see that we were parked in the schools parking lot.

"So I'll see you at lunch." He stated but it came out as a question.

"What?"

"Remember, you said you'd sit with me?"

"I guess I did. So yeah, I guess I'll see you at lunch." I opened the car door and stepped out. I quickly walked towards the school. The bell ran just as a I reached my locker.

XX

My first two classes passed in a blur, I wasn't really paying attention because I was wondering how people would react when they saw _me_ sitting with Edward Cullen alone. I mean, I sort of considered Edward my friend now, he wasn't all bad. Except for the huge ego, and arrogance.

The bell ran for lunch and I tried not to have a panic attack in the middle of the halls. I walked into the cafeteria and saw Edward seated in the table farthest away from everyone. People were just pooling into the room. I walked over and stopped by the table.

"Have a seat." He said and gestured to the empty chairs. I sat down and pulled out an apple from my back and twirled it in my hands by the stem. It felt like the whole room went quiet as soon as I sat down. I could feel eyes boring into the back of my head. I could hear all the whispers. I glanced over to the table in the middle of the room where Edward and his friends usually sat, they were staring as well. Everyone in the room was confused. Edward sensed I was uncomfortable and he threw me a smile.

"Just pretend like no one's here. Like it's just you and me." He whispered leaning in. I found myself leaning in too. It felt safer. I tried to tune them out but I heard a few conversations from people that were wondering what was going on right now.

"_Maybe they're fucking. Edward will fuckanything that breaths, but this is a new low."_

"_He's just using her."_

"_Slut."_

I shook my head tried to tune them out again, this time with better success because Edward started another random conversation about how he hated Forks. I agreed with his thoughts and laughed at a couple of ridiculous ones. I was startled when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I reached down to slip it out and saw I had a text from my mother that said I would have to babysit Alec tonight. I groaned.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked.

"I have to babysit tonight." I said and buried my head in my hands.

"I could help if you'd like. Alec...is a very perceptive child. He was using the third degree against me." He said smiling. "I like him."

"Oh god. I'm sorry, what did he ask you?"

"He basically said he didn't believe the bullshit answer I gave him this morning about just stopping by. He said he heard me last night. He also asked if we were dating. He said he likes me though." I groaned and he smiled.

"I'm so sorry. He just says things without thinking."

"It's fine. Really."

"Thanks." The bell rang just as I took a bite of my apple and I sighed.

"So should I meet you at your car after school?"

"Yeah. How else would you get home?" He laughed. I shook my head and headed to my next class. People stared as I made my way down the hall, but this time, I couldn't find myself giving a fuck.

XX

I met Edward by his car right when the bell rang and he greeted me by a smile. I smiled back, for the first time I felt happy for some reason.

"Was sitting with me that bad?" He asked as he turned the corner to my street.

"Not really. It was better than sitting alone." I sighed. He parked in front of my house and we both got out. I unlocked the door and threw backpack into the living room and sat down on the sofa.

"Alec should be home in fifteen minutes." I put my feet up onto the coffee table. Edward sat down and mirrored my position. I turned the TV on and mindlessly flipped through channels. I stopped on some documentary.

"We should take Alec to the park or something. It can't be fun being cooped up in the house." Edward said suddenly.

"Yeah, that's a good idea." I nodded.

"Can we get ice cream after?" Edward asked. I glanced at his face and his eyes were all lit up.

"You're such a child." I laughed.

The door opened and Alec ran in and went straight for the kitchen; not even noticing us. I sighed and got up and walked into the kitchen. Edward followed behind me.

"Hungry?" I asked Alec who was staring into the fridge.

"Yeah." Alec said and looked at me then noticed Edward leaning against the entrance.

"What's he doing here?" Alec whispered to me.

"We're gonna take you to the park later and maybe to the ice cream shop depending on how you behave. Edward came so you'll have someone to play with, he's a football fanatic too." Alec's eyes lit up at the word 'football' and he dragged Edward into the living room and started asking him questions about the game.

I leaned down and pulled out a couple of granola bars from the cupboard and got a couple of Coke's from the fridge. I walked into the living room and set them down on the coffee table.

"No spilling." I said sternly to Alec.

"Yes, mother." Edward answered snickering and Alec laughed. It was nice to see them get along since Edward would probably be around here a lot. Seeing how he wouldn't leave me alone.

XX

I took a warm shower and got dressed in some old sweats and a tee-shirt. I grabbed my boots and we were off to the park. There weren't a lot of kids here, just the occasional couple strolling through. Edward and Alec played football on the grass while I caught up on my books. The sun was slowly setting and the sky was a pretty orange colour.

We set off on foot towards the small little ice cream parlor which wasn't that far. We walked into the tiny shop and I waited for Edward and Alec to stop changing their minds on what flavor and toppings they wanted. I rolled my eyes when they came out with three scoops of different flavors each. Edward handed me a plain Vanilla ice cream cone, and I thanked him even though I didn't ask for one.

"Why hello there Edward!" A nasally voice rang out and I wanted to hit something. I turned around to see Tanya and her little posse.

"Tanya." He said curtly.

"Can I speak to you in _private _please?" She said and pointed her manicured finger over to a corner. Being polite Edward nodded. They walked over and immediately it looked like they were having a heated conversation.

"Because she's my fucking friend, Tanya." He screamed and stalked off from her and towards us, leaving a stunned Tanya staring at the brick wall of the shop.

"Let's go." He said and ushered us back towards the park.

**A/N: Hello lovelies. Ah! Fluff! I bet it was a nice change from Emo Bella. LOL. Anyways, I was in a happy mood today, so happy chapter! I hope you liked it; this one was a long one, well compared to the others. Thank you for all the reviews for the last chapter. You guys are so fucking sweet I just love reading them. They put a smile on my face, I just love all you guys SO much. Like I just cannot. *Tears up* Again thank you for reading. 10 reviews for the next chapter and tell me what you would like to see in future chapters. Thank you to my wonderful Beta for pre-reading and correcting my mistakes. If she weren't here this chapter would be a mess.**

**Forever Yours -SweetestBitch**


	16. Chapter 16

"What did she want?" I said to Edward as we walked away from Tanya.

"The usual, 'I got some weed, let's fuck.' And 'why the 'fuck are you hanging out with her?'" He shrugged and licked some ice cream that had melted and fallen onto his fingers.

"I told you your reputation would be tarnished if you started hanging out with me." Suddenly, I felt guilty for pretty much dragging him down with me. I was making his life worse just by breathing.

"And I told you I didn't care about my reputation or what people thought." He said simply. Alec walked in between us; he held my hand and happily licked away at his ice cream. I looked down and smiled at him. He looked so oblivious to the world around him.

"It's kinda obvious how much you care about him. You guys really don't have the usual 'big sister-little brother' relationship." Edward said smiling.

"Is it that obvious?" I asked and He nodded.

"I just don't want him to grow up and feel like I feel. Right now he's pretty oblivious to everything, but it won't be like that forever."

"Seems reasonable."

It was getting darker and colder by the minute as we walked back to the car. The moon was big and bright tonight. I shivered as a gust of wind blew my way. I instantly regretted not bringing a bigger jacket.

"Cold?" Edward asked.

"Sort of. But I'll manage." Edward started to unbutton his grey coat and took it off and held it towards me. I shook my head.

"You'll be cold if I take your coat." I protested.

"I'll manage plus we're almost at the car." He walked around to me and draped the thick tweed coat around my shoulders. I gave him a soft smile and we started walking in a comfortable silence.

XX

"Thanks for the ride, Edward." I said as I unbuckled a now sleeping Alec from the back seat.

"No problem. Here, let me get the door." He said and climbed out of the Volvo as I adjusted Alec in my arms. He ran ahead to the door and unlocked it with the spare key. He held it open as I walked over the threshold.

"Thanks for everything today. I think he really had fun." I whispered because I didn't want Alec to wake up.

"It was my pleasure Bella. So I'll see you at school tomorrow?"

"Of course."

"Would you like a ride?" He asked and twirled his ring of keys with his fingers.

"No, it's fine, I really should use my truck. It might stop working if I don't use it."

"That's fine. Good night Bella." He jumped off my front porch before I could say anything. Maybe it was just me, but he sounded disappointed.

"Goodnight Edward." I whispered into the dark night.

I went up the stairs and into Alec's room. I took of his shoes and laid him down on to the bed under the covers.

I went downstairs and grabbed a bottle of water and warmed up some left over pizza before going upstairs to hide out in my room for the rest of the night. I read a little and went straight to bed as soon as I heard my parents' car pull up.

Dad came into my room to check on me- well, probably to check if I was still in the house. He and mom got into another fight. But I was too tired to care, so I closed my eyes and dozed off.

XX

My eyes snapped open as the obnoxious beeping sound continued. I pressed the _snooze _ button and got up and did my morning routine.

I bounded down the stairs and into the kitchen. I grabbed an apple and sat down at the table. I put them both in my book bag and grabbed a granola bar to go.

I parked in the nearest parking spot to the school. I wanted to get in the school as fast as

possible since a heavy down poor had started. I pulled the hood of my jacket over my head and sprinted into the school. I spent a few minutes in the library before the bell rang. My first two classes flew by in the blur. The bell for lunch rang and I didn't know what to do. Did Edward want me to sit with him again? I bumped into someone as I was lost in thought.

"Oh crap! I'm so sorry!" I rushed out. I looked up and I was met with emerald green eyes- Edwards eyes staring into mine. He was griping my shoulders tightly to keep me from toppling over.

"It's fine." He said laughing and let go of me. He ran a hand through his hair. I stood up straight and he let go of my shoulders.

"So we have that project due for banner tomorrow." He said slowly.

"Yeah, and?" I asked.

"Well Mom wanted you to come by for dinner since you skipped out the other day. So would you like to come over since we have that project to finish anyways?" He rushed out quickly. His words blurred into each other and I had to concentrate to keep up.

"Sure, I guess." I shrugged.

"Do you want me to pick you up or..?" He trailed off.

"Uh, why don't you just follow me home so I can change and then I'll get in with you."

"Sounds okay. See you then." He squeezed my shoulder and walked away smiling. I wonder why he's so happy today. I walked aimlessly around the school. Of course people stared and pointed out how I wasn't perfect but I couldn't find myself to care anymore. I walked passed Emmett and Alice and they both gave me a tiny wave. I gave them a soft smile just to be polite but kept on walking. What had Edward told them about me?

I decided to skip my next two classes since I had P.E and English. I spent some time in the library helping the librarian shelf books.

The bell rang and I headed outside to wait for Edward by my truck. He came out and went straight to his car. He turned my way and waved before getting in the car. I got into my truck and started it up. I left the parking lot first and then Edward followed behind me.

I parked in the driveway and Edward parked by the curb. I ran inside and quickly changed into a dark blue v-neck top and pulled on some skin tight black jeans. I slipped on my converse and ran out the door. Edward was waiting outside the car by the passenger's side door. He pulled it open when he saw me coming.

"Thank you." I said as I slipped inside the car. He closed the door behind me and slipped inside into the driver's side.

"You didn't have to dress up for dinner, Bella." He sighed.

"I know. But I didn't want to look like shit while having dinner with your parents."

"Well you look really pretty." He said looking me straight in the eyes.

"Thanks." I blushed.

Edward pulled into his driveway and we both got out. He ran to the front door and held it open for me. I walked passed him and into the foyer.

"Bella! You made it." Esme said and pulled me into a hug. I squeezed her back lightly.

"Thank you for inviting me, Esme."

"It was my pleasure Bella. You know I love to cook for people." She winked at me.

"Is there anything I can help you with?"

"I'm fine dear. Dinner will be ready in an hour guys. Go do whatever."

"Thanks Mom." Edward said and started up the stairs and into his room I followed behind him.

"So what do you want to do to kill time?" He asked and laid down on the bed and put his hands behind his head.

"Get up we have a project to finish." I said and threw a pillow at his head.

We worked on the project for the majority of the time before Esme called us down for dinner. Dr. Cullen pulled a chair out for Esme and myself. I thanked him and sat down, Edward pulled out the chair next to mine and sat down. We all helped ourselves to the many dishes Esme had made.

"How was your days guys?" Esme said.

"Fine." Both Edward and I said at the same time. We all ate in silence for a couple of minutes.

"How are your parents Bella?" Dr. Cullen asked me.

"They're fine, Carlisle. Both busy with work and such." I said while looking at my plate. He nodded in response. After we were finished dinner Esme brought us dessert in the living room while Edward and I were watching some random movie that was on T.V. After an hour or so of watching T.V I stood up.

"I think I should get going."

"Sure let me get my car keys." Edward said and went up the stairs and into his room.

"It was nice having you over for dinner Bella." Esme said and gave me another hug.

"Thank you for having me, Esme."

"It was no problem dear. Your welcome here anytime." She said and kissed my cheek.

"Ready to go?" Edward asked and made his way to the door.

"Yeah."

Edward and I sat in silence in the car as he drove. He pulled up by my house and I started to get out.

"Here, let me walk you to the door." Edward said and got out.

"You don't have to." I said but he ignored me. He walked around the car and pulled my door open the rest of the way.

We walked across the lawn and to the porch.

"Thanks for everything Edward." I said and pulled the key out of my back pocket.

"I'm sorry," he said but it was nothing more than a breath. I leaned in before I had time to realize what he was doing.

He gently touched my lips with his, taking my bottom lip in-between his. I shuddered and he pressed his lips firmer to mine. I was tense and afraid.

I pulled away from him with a gasp.

"Edward..." I whispered.

"I'm sorry Bella." I unlocked the door as fast as I could and slipped inside- leaving Edward out on the front porch. I tear slipped my eye as I sat down with my back pressed to the door.

**A/N: Hello lovlies. I'm having an over load of feels right now. I was watching 'The Last Song' while I was writing this and I just..exploded LOL. I hope you liked this chapter. Thank you to my beta for pre-reading/editing and just over all making this story look pretty. Thank you to **_**krizo93 **_**for a review that made me smile. Thank you for reading guys :) 10 reviews for the next chapter. Happy readings.**

**Forever Yours, -SweetestBitch **


	17. Chapter 17

I closed my eyes; I could see Edward's face.

I inhaled deeply and breathed out slowly. The air tickled my lips and I could almost taste him.

He kissed me.

Edward Cullen kissed_ me_.

Did he like it?

Did _I_ like it?

I still hadn't decided, and it had already been two days since it happened. I had decided to skip the last two days of school before Spring break because I was too afraid to face him.

The kiss came out of nowhere. One moment he was apologizing, and the next he was pressing his lips to mine. I didn't know why he was doing it or what he was trying to prove. In that moment I had become aware of my own body – I had been shaking and standing still at the same time. He pressed his lips firmer against mine, and I hadn't known what to do. What was he expecting of me? Why was he kissing me?

_Edward didn't hate me anymore. He cared for me. He wanted me to be safe. I could see it in his eyes. And I could hear it in his voice when he spoke to me. There was no faking that. He wasn't just hanging around me just because he wanted to keep me alive. He cared for me. _

_And I cared for him. _

_My phone buzzed in the corner of my room. It sat on my dresser for the past two days, just ringing and buzzing away- begging to be picked up. I didn't have to pick it up to see who it was. I stared at it as the quiet buzzing continued, I silently begged for it to stop. I couldn't handle the thought of Edward broken, __disappointed__, that I didn't return the feelings he had for me. The phone buzzed once again and I caved and got up and picked it up. I sat back down again on my bed and flipped it open._

_The screen flashed notifying me I had a couple dozen texts and missed phone calls and just as many voicemails. All of them from Edward. _

I pressed the little blue button that led to the text message screen. I scrolled down and picked the very first one that he sent.

_"Bella, please, talk to me."_ One of them read.

_"Please don't shut me out Bella."_

"Please let me explain"

I scrolled through message after message. All of them making my heart ache even more. I went

into my voice mail inbox and selected the most recent one.

"_Bella, please, don't shut me out. Just let me explain. Please. Just- fuck Bella. Pick up your phone."_

"I fucking miss you Bella. I miss you! Just please answer your phone Bella. Please. Just tell me you're okay."  
  
I listened to message after wretched message. Edward's voice grew weaker, and more defeated like as the messages continued. I finished listening to all of them and I put the phone aside.

He stopped calling me.

And I had no more tears to shed.

I shook my head at myself because I realized how crazy I was acting. He wasn't my boyfriend or anything. So why was I acting like he just broke my heart?

I sat back and leaned my head against my headboard and deeply sighed. Things felt so complicated now- even more complicated than before.

I hadn't been out of my room for two days. I was surprised when Mom let me stay home after I faked sick. She usually never fell for that. Two days of no school. Two days of no contact with the outside world.

I spent most of my time staring out my window. I liked looking at the people walking below and seeing them laughing and chatting away. I liked imagining the type of life they had; whether it was filled with joy or misery.

I sighed and decided to go grab something to eat from the fridge downstairs. I looked into the fridge and grabbed the left over's from last night. I stuck it in the microwave and watched it revolve.

"Can we go to the park again Bella?" I jumped at the sudden voice, not expecting it at all.

"Oh! Alec you scared me." I said and put my hand over my heart trying to calm my breathing. Alec rolled his eyes.

"When can you and Edward take me to the park?" He asked again obviously annoyed I didn't answer the first time. I froze when he said _his_ name and I turned around to face the microwave as it was still revolving. I didn't want him to see the emotion in my face that it would convey when he said his name.

"I don't know Alec. Edward has things to do, and a family. He can't play with you whenever you want." I said quietly and tried to hold back tears.

"Can you please call him and ask? Please." He begged.

"I tried to get a hold of him earlier today but he wouldn't pick up." I lied trying to appease him.

"Please, Bella!"

"I told you he's busy so drop it!" I snapped at him. At the same time the microwave dinged and I felt instantly guilty. Alec ran away and up the stairs, I heard his bare feet padding away on the wooden floor until he finally stopped when he closed the door to his room.

I sighed and leaned on the counter hating myself even more for snapping at him. Why was Edward's name getting me all riled up?

Maybe I missed him just as much as he missed me. I barely had time to think about how much I hate everything because most my time was spent with him. He was saving me and I didn't even know it. I had been happier and didn't give a crap about what people at school thought.

Was I being a mega bitch by cutting him off like this? Probably.

But I needed time to grasp what exactly happened. A tiny kiss. My first kiss. That tiny little kiss made my world go round. It made everything change, yet nothing changed.

I was pulled out of my musings when the doorbell rang. I ran off towards it to answer it. The person standing on my old front porch was someone who I wasn't expecting in a million years.

"Hello Mrs. Cullen."

"Hello dear. Edward said that you had come down with the flu and were all alone so I came to check on you." She said and gave me a loving look.

"Thank you for coming to check on me, Mrs. Cullen. Would you like to come in?" I asked just to be polite but I silently wished she would refuse.

"Oh, no thank you Bella. I was on my way to the hospital to visit Carlisle and I thought I'd stop by and give you some homemade cookies" She handed me a clear plastic container that was obviously filled to the rim with cookies.

"How nice of you, Esme. Thank you." I said and forced a smile.

"It was no problem dear. I'll be going now. I hope to see you again soon." She said and patted my cheek. She turned around and got in her car as I closed the door behind her.

Since I loved Esme's cookies I opened the container as soon as I heard the door click shut. But before I reached in to grab one there was a folded white piece of paper on top it had the words _'read me'_ scrawled onto it. I walked into the kitchen and sat down at one of the stools. I unfolded the piece of paper and Edwards's familiar writing stood out to me.

_"Bella please." It read. "I hate how you're not answering your phone. I just hate not being able to talk to you. I just hate how I miss you so fucking much. Please don't shut me out, Bella. I know you're probably confused and angry but please call me so I can explain."_

I crumpled up the letter and threw it in the nearest trash can.

I ran back up into my room. I fell in a heap on the floor. Tears filled my eyes when I realized how much I was hurting him by not speaking to him. I never expected to be crying over Edward hurting. Things changed, and they changed fast between us. I didn't like it one bit. It scared me. The unknown and how fast our friendship was progressing to something more in his eyes scared me the most.

_**A/N: Hello lovelies! Happy Sunday. My beta said this chapter was really sad, which I don't agree with that much but okay. I hope you liked it and I was very pleased with the reviews I got for the last chapter. Thank you for reading. Thank you to my beta for pre-reading/editing and throwing me idea's when I was on the verge of a panic attack. 10 reviews for the next chapter and please tell me what you thought about this chapter.**_

_**Forever Yours, -SweetestBitch **_


	18. Chapter 18

I spent the morning sitting around in my sweat pants. Edward hadn't called or texted me since yesterday afternoon and I appreciated it. I liked having time to think things through. They were just moving too fast for my liking. My parents hadn't spoken to me ever since that night I ran off with Edward and I was more than fine with that. Alec hadn't spoken to me since yesterday when I snapped at him. My parents, my brother, and Edward are now officially not speaking to me. I feel like I'm a horrible daughter, sister, and friend. Actually, I don't feel like I'm horrible, I know I'm horrible. They proved my point by not speaking to me anymore.

I silently wished that Edward would call or text me, or even show up at my doorstep or window. Anything. I just want to see him, hear his voice. His threats to kill anyone who said anything to me. I just wanted to hear his side of the story most of all. Did Edward kiss me because he wanted me to believe he liked me so he could get in my pants? Was I just another challenge for him? Did he just listen to my sob story because of that? I shook my head at my thoughts; I don't think Edward was that awful and cruel. Sure he fucks everything that breathes- or used to. Or does Edward genuinely like me? Did he want me to be his girlfriend? I couldn't even if I wanted to. I mean, what would people think? They already almost freaked out when I sat with him at lunch.

I was slowly getting cabin fever. I'd spent four days cooped up in my room so I decided I would go out and get some fresh air. I grabbed my jacket and iPod and walked to the park. I sat down at the picnic tables and started fiddling with my iPod.

I spent God knows how long just sitting there lost in thought as usual. I continued just sitting there and staring off into space until I felt a light tap on my shoulder. I whirled around to see who it was. I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or jump up and hug him. We just stood there staring into each others eyes. His face held so much pain it was hard to keep looking at him. I looked down and started playing with my fingers, suddenly feeling awkward. He kneeled down to eye level and put his fingers on my chin pulling my head up- forcing me to look him in the eyes.

"Hi.." I whispered lamely.

"Bella." He whispered.

"How are you doing?" I asked and he snorted. "Edward you called me thirty-seven times, Edward… you… you had me worried." He squeezed his eyes shut.

"I'm supposed to ask you that," He replied, his voice strained.

"Edward… don't," she whispered.

"Can we go somewhere and talk..please?"

"I… I need to figure some things out."

"Then fucking figure it out with me! You don't need to fucking do it alone! I'm here for you!" He growled.

"Edward.." I whispered again and put my palm against his cheek and he leaned into my touch.

"Can we just talk and figure things out? Please." He was almost begging and I couldn't deny him when he was looking at me like that. I nodded not trusting my voice. I was on the verge of tears my emotions were all over the place. He grabbed my hand and pulled me up. I'm not sure what compelled me to link my arm with his but I did and he seemed okay with it. He broke out a tiny smile which triggered a smile of my own.

"I like it when you smile." He whispered in my ear and I blushed. We walked to his car and he pulled open the door for me. I thanked him and got in. The loss of contact between Edward and myself made me a bit anxious. He got in on the driver's side and started up the car. I had an immense craving to hold his hand and it scared me because I didn't know where it came from. I didn't hold out my hand because I didn't want to be to forward. I was surprised when he held out his hand but I took it immediately.

"Where are we going?"

"My house." He said simply. The roads were empty so he did twice the speed limit so we got there in no time. He got out first and opened my door; I followed him to the door and into the house. He held my hand again and pulled me into the family room. I sat on the white sofa and he sat down on the floor by my feet.

"Edward… what exactly is it that we have?" I asked, my voice was shaky and I was on the verge of crying again. _Fuck. _

"I don't fucking know! Okay?" He replied, frustrated now. "I just know that I need you."

"You keep saying that, but what does it even mean? Why… why would you need me? What am I to you, Edward? Why am I so important that you need me so much?"

"Because… because...I just need you okay?" He said gripping his hair tightly with his hand. "I felt empty without you Bella. You changed my world and turned it upside down."

"Wh-wh-why did you kiss me?" I stuttered.

"Because I _like_ you Bella." He said and gripped my hand tighter in his. I didn't know how to respond to that.

"I like you too Edward, just not the way you like me." Or did I? Edward just stared into my eyes for the longest time. He opened his mouth to say something when he was cut off.

"Edward..Emmett?" Esme called out.

"In here Mom." Edward called out and got up and went to go sit in the rocking chair across from me. I wanted to run over and grab his hand again but I resisted the urge. Esme's high heels clicked against the floor as she made her way into the room.

"Oh hello, Bella." She said and put her purse down on the piano bench and came over to sit beside me.

"Hi, Esme." I said meekly. She pulled me into a hug.

"What are you doing here? Is something wrong?" She asked while her eyes searched my face.

"Everything's fine, Esme. I just came by to thank you for the cookies you had given me yesterday and I came to see Edward because I wanted to know what we got on the project. Everything's fine." I rushed out quickly and prayed she couldn't tell if I was lying or not.

"Edward, can you go get Bella and myself something to drink from the kitchen please?" Esme said tearing her eyes away from mine. Edward pursed his lips but didn't object. He slowly got up and exited the room.

"Bella, are you sure everything is fine?" Esme asked again and a sudden sadness filled her voice.

"Everything's fine, Esme. I promise." I said. I wonder why she was acting so weird today.

"Sweetie, if everything was fine, you wouldn't have these." She grabbed my arm tightly and slid up my sleeves and moved my bracelets up. My scars. I quickly snatched my arm away and pulled my sleeve down.

"How did you find out Esme? Did Edward tell you?" I said about to complete lose it.

"Sweetie, no one told me. A mother always knows. Plus with Edward's depressed phase this week and him running away at night, and then you suddenly showing up here...It was kind of hard _not_ to see that something was wrong, honey." She sighed.

"Please don't tell anyone Esme. I just won't be able to handle it if people find out." I begged.

"Bella, honey, I can't just keep this a secret. If you're being abused I have to tell the authorities." I didn't say anything. I contemplated just bolting from the room.

"I heard the way she spoke to you." Esme said and my brow creased.

"Who?"

"Your mother Bella, I was at the hospital visiting Carlisle and I was walking past your room when I heard her yelling at you. A mother should never speak to her child like she spoke to you that day." Esme said solemnly. And I agreed with her. A throat cleared and both our heads snapped up and we saw Edward standing in the entrance with two water bottles in his hands.

"Uhm. Esme, I should go now." I said awkwardly and practically ran from the room. Thankfully, Edward followed behind me.

"Just take me home Edward." I whispered and stepped out of the house and into the car

I was silent most of the car ride. Edward tried to make conversation and distract me but I was to wrapped up in my thoughts. He parked in front of my house.

"I swear I didn't tell her." He blurted out.

"I know you didn't Edward." I said and smiled softly. He grabbed my hand in his and brought it to his lips- kissing my knuckles.

"Goodnight Bella." He said and I got out of the car, completely stunned.

**A/N: Hello Lovelies. IT'S FRIDAY. Hello early update! I was just really pleased with all the reviews I got last chapter so I thought I would reward you guys. I need your feedback! Please! And thank you to my beta for pre-reading/editing and throwing me idea's and just plain being awesome. Again, thank you for reading. **

**Forever Yours, -SweetestBitch **


	19. Chapter 19

EPOV:

"Spill." Emmett said and plopped down on my sofa, staring at me pointedly.

"Ever hear of knocking Em?" I said and rolled my eyes and turned my eyes back to the TV.

"Spill." Emmett repeated again. I turned to face him.

"Would you care to tell me what the actual fuck you want me to 'spill' about Emmett, because I'm coming up with a blank."

"Isabella. Swan." He said slowly.

"What about her?"

"Why are you suddenly hanging out with her? I mean, you used to bully her like it was your job bro."

"I don't know. We got paired for that project, we hung out, we talked. She's pretty cool." I said shrugging. I hope he couldn't tell I was lying.

"So..are you guys like friends now?" He asked.

"Sure. I guess." I said and shrugged, playing it off like it was no big deal.

"Why don't you bring her around, I'd love to meet her, and I'm sure Alice would love to make Bella her own life sized Barbie doll."

"Em, I'm not sure if you noticed or not, but Bella doesn't like being around people. She'll probably have a panic attack because of Alice's intensity." I said completely serious but Emmett thought I was joking and laughed.

"She seems like a tough chick. She didn't seem fazed when Mike and his stoners-" He cut off.

"When Mike and his stoners what?" I asked absolutely curious now.

"Nothing. Well, something happened, but I stopped it in time. It's not my place to tell anyone, bro, if she really is your friend she'll tell you on your own." I groaned, the curiosity absolutely eating me up.

"Why don't you invite B over? Everyone's coming over for a little movie night, it'll be fun."

"Since when is she 'B' now?" I snorted. He ignored my question and walked out the room.

I laid back in bed and flipped aimlessly through the TV channels. 900 channels and still nothing was on. My mind kept drifting back to Bella. She doesn't hate me, but she doesn't _like_ me in the way that I like her. I wonder what changed between us, why I went from hating her to lov- _liking_ her. I could relate to Bella, we were both stuck in some bad situations. One of us is still stuck. Bella wasn't anything like the other girls. She wasn't self involved, she wasn't a slut, and she wasn't complicated. She was simple, and caring. The total opposite of every single girl was like. Bella was unique.

I shook my head at my thoughts and wondered when I grew a vag. I got up and went downstairs and went to go find something to eat and call Bella. After I found something to eat I called Bella. She was hesitant to agree to come over since everyone else would be over but she said she would come because her mom was getting on her damn nerves. She said she would be over in 15 minutes.

"What movies are we going to watch tonight?" I asked after walking into Emmett's' room without knocking.

"Rose and Alice want to watch The Notebook first and we're going to watch Scarface after. So did Bella agree to come over?"

"Yeah. You better not scare her away. She's not like Rose or Alice." I warned.

"Scouts honor." He said and held up two fingers. I threw the first things my hands could touch at his head. He neatly dodged it and I rolled my eyes and walked out of the room. I went down to the foyer and sat down on the sofa. I texted Alice for a bit and told her Bella was coming over. To say she was surprised was a total understatement.

There was a soft knock at the door and I all but ran to go answer it. Bella was standing there in sweatpants and an old band tee-shirt, her hair was pulled back in a bun.

"Hi.." She said and gave me a small smile.

"Hey, uh, come in." I said and stepped aside so she could come in.

"Is everyone else here yet?" She asked after I closed the door.

"Not yet. They'll be here around six." I said and ran my hand through my hair.

"Do they know I'm coming? I just don't want to be imposing." She said worriedly

"Yes they know you're coming. Alice was surprised but she's excited to finally meet you. And plus Emmett invited you." I said. "Not that I didn't want you to come." I said quickly backtracking.

"Edward, its fine." She said laughing. "I know what you mean."

"Let's go up to my room before Emmett finds us and starts giving you the third degree." I ushered her up the stairs in front of me and followed behind her. We went into my room and I closed the door behind us. She flopped down on the middle of my bad and I followed suit.

"So what did you do today?" She asked casually. I could tell she was trying hard to make conversation so I decided to humor her.

"Nothing. Ate, slept." I shrugged. "What about you?"

"Do not get me started on my day. Oh my god. I was so close to flipping the fuck out on my mom." She groaned and buried her face in her hands.

"Wanna talk about it?" I said and stroked her hair.

"Not really." She sighed. We laid there in the middle of the bed for a couple of minutes. I played with her fingers and she didn't seem to mind. We heard the door click open and we both sat up. Emmett was leaning against the door frame and staring at us intently. Bella pulled her hand away from mine and started playing with her fingers.

"Hey Bella." Emmett said

"Hi." She said and looked at him, giving him a forced smile.

"Ed, Mom called, she said they're going to spend the night in Port Angeles." He said and walked out.

"That was awkward." Bella said with a tiny smile on her face.

"Yes it was. He'll probably break into our parent's liquor cabinet now since they won't be home tonight."

The door bell rang just a few minutes past 6. We heard everyone's voices float up the stairs and Bella looked like she was going to bite right through her lip with how hard she was biting it.

"Stop it. They'll love you." I whispered and gently pulled her lip from between her teeth. She gave me a skeptical look.

"So where's Bella? I'm dying to meet her." We heard Alice say downstairs.

"Ready to endure Alice?" I said laughing

"Always." She replied and pushed me playfully. She walked down the stairs in front of me and Alice was waiting at the bottom.

"It's so nice to finally meet you!" She squealed and pulled Bella into a hug. "We're going to be great friends." Alice pulled out of the hug but held onto Bella's hand.

"It's nice to meet you too." Bella said and forced a smile.

"You know Rosalie and Jasper." Both of them just nodded at Bella, barely acknowledging her. Bella's face fell just a little to their greetings but she held the smile on her face. Alice dragged Bella to the loveseat across the room and started asking her questions.

"You have to let me dress you up sometime. Nails, hair, the whole nine-yards." She said practically bouncing in her seat.

"Okay, let's get the party started!" Emmett screamed which made Bella jump. Alice whispered something in Bella's ear and got up and curled up next to Jasper. Rosalie poured some wine for herself and gave Bella and Alice a glass of wine and left the bottle on the table. Emmett grabbed us all beer's and put the movies in.

Xx

Two and a half bottles of wine, and a lot of beer later, we were all drunk as hell. Bella only had a couple of glasses but she was wasted. She was at that state where she was happy about everything and verbalized every single thought that passed through her head.

Everyone else, including Bella, were falling asleep. I scooped Bella up in my arms and she squealed. I carried her up the three floors and into my room. She wasn't sober enough to drive, and I was way too wasted to drive her. I placed Bella on the bed and she sat up and took her shirt off- revealing her black tank top. She laid back down and I laid down on the other side of her. I was about to fall asleep when I felt Bella straddle my hips, my eyes snapped open and I was staring into Bella's chocolate brown ones. She leaned down and kissed me softly but it was full of passion.

"I like you too." She whispered. She let go of my face and rolled off me. She fell asleep in a matter of seconds.

_What the actual fuck just happened._

**A/N: How the fuck am I at 150 reviews? OMG, I just love y'all so much. I hope you liked this chapter. I just wanted to remind you that Bella was drunk. If she were sober I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have done that. And thank you to my Beta for pre-reading.**

**P.S: **_**xXShadow-KissedXx**_**, your comment **_**"You're gonna be lik**__**e who is this psycho blowing up my inbox talking about apples?" **_**made my day. Thank you. **

**Forever Yours, -Sweetest Bitch**


	20. Chapter 20

I woke up feeling like death. I am never, ever drinking again. I had a pounding headache and felt like throwing up as soon as I woke up. I pulled the gold duvet off of me and tried to stand up, but as soon as I did my stomach heaved and I ran to the bathroom and kneeled over the toilet.

"Bella?" Edward asked at the door to the bathroom. He sounded stressed.

"I'm fine; you don't need to see this." I mumbled between heaves. He ignored me and came over and leaned over me, holding my hair back. I pulled away from him and closed the lid and flushed the toilet. I sat down on the lid with my face in my hands.

"I feel like death." I mumbled and Edward let out his musical laugh.

"Yeah, hangovers feel like that. You get used to it after a while."

"I am never, _ever_, drinking again." I vowed.

I got up and went to go rinse out my mouth and wash my face. I leaned against the countertop and Edward reached behind me; into the medicine cabinet.

"Here, drink this," Edward held out a small cap full of Pepto Bismol and I happily tipped back the pink liquid hoping it would calm my stomach.

"Common, let's get you to bed, or else you'll spend all day in the bathroom." He took the small cap from my fingers and helped me to my feet. I let him lead me to the bedroom and tuck me into bed.

"I'll just go get you a glass of water." He said awkwardly and practically ran from the room. I rolled over and pick up a couple of pictures that were just sitting there. The first one was of him, Alice and Jasper, and Rosalie and Emmet, and who I assumed was Michael. The second one was of him blowing out candles on a birthday cake. And the last one was a formal family picture. I marveled at how happy everyone looked in all three of the pictures and wondered why we don't have any family pictures that looked remotely like that.

Edward cleared his throat at the door and I tucked the pictures under the duvet with me, hoping he didn't notice I was looking at his personal things. He walked over and placed the tall glass of water on the night stand and walked over to the other side and I felt the bed tip as he sat down.

"So what do you remember from last night?" He asked. "Or were you so out of it that you don't remember a single thing?" He laughed after he said that last part, but it sounded forced and strained, but maybe that was just me.

I rolled over to face him. I remembered bits and pieces but not everything.

"I remember bits and pieces." I said and rolled over to face him.

"Well what do you remember?" He asked again and ran his hand through his hair, tightly pulling at the bronze strands.

"Why do you keep asking me? Did something happen that I _should _remember?" I asked and wondered why he was being so persistent.

"No, no, nothing of _consequence_ happened, I'm just wondering what you remember." He said quickly and shrugged.

"Well I remember drinking _a lot _of wine, uhm, talking to Alice and promising her that I'd let her dress me up. I remember sitting next to you, and I remember bits and pieces from the movie. Everything is coming up blank after the movies finished."

He just gave me one slow nod. His brow was creased slightly and he was sort of stiff.

"I'm gonna ask this one more time Edward, is there anything I need to know that happened last night? And I want an answer this time." I sat up and pressed my back against the wooden headbord and folded my arms across my chest.

"Well um." He stalled and I gave him a pointed look. He opened his mouth to continue but someone knocked at the door.

"Come in." He yelled completely ignoring me now.

"Hey." Alice said as she waltzed into the room and took a seat on Edwards's leather sofa. She gave me a peculiar look when she saw me wrapped up in_ Edwards _blanket in _Edwards's _bed.

"How's the hangover?" She asked and pulled her knees up to her chest.

"Horrible. Never, ever drinking again." I groaned.

"Well I assume it's your first time, so you'll get used to it after a while." She laughed her tinkling laugh as she repeated Edwards's words from earlier.

"So I hear." I muttered dryly.

"Everyone went home." She said to Edward and picked at her manicured finger nails.

"So why didn't you go home with Jasper?"

"Because I wanted to keep Isabella here company. It can't be fun hanging out with you all the time." She winked at me and smirked at him.

"Ha ha. Very funny." He rolled his eyes. "I'm going to go shower or something." He said and shot me a look that clearly said _'will you be okay with her?__'_I gave him one small nod and he left the room and I was left with Alice and an awkward silence.

"Don't worry about Jasper and Rosalie." She blurted out randomly. "Jasper's just not..good with people I guess. And Rosalie is just too self-centered to care about someone other than herself. It's a miracle she even cares about Emmett, she's a bitch but I guess she has a soft side." She prattled on, and on in one breath. Goddamn this girl can talk. She had the energy of a classroom full of hyperactive children.

"Uhm. Okay." I said awkwardly. She gave me a soft smile and I relaxed somewhat.

"Are you and Edward like a..._thing_ now?" She asked and I immediately regretted agreeing to come over because I knew people would start to assume stuff. I sighed.

"No we're not a couple, Alice." Even though Edward wanted there to be an _us._

"So how did you and Edward meet? Well, obviously I know you guys met in school but how?" She asked and her brow creased.

"Well uhm. We got partnered for a Science project and I guess we got along. We had a lot in common." I lied through my teeth. I wasn't the greatest liar but she seemed to believe me.

"I hate to ask this but he used to bully you. Correct?" I nodded and wondered where she was taking this conversation. "How'd you um, get over that?"

"I don't know. I just did. I saw what he was like when he wasn't being a douche." I shrugged and cracked a tiny smile for her benefit.

"I'd like to meet Edward when he's not being a dick." She snorted and a tiny laugh escaped my lips.

"On another note, you _need _to let me give you a complete makeover sometime. Not that you aren't pretty without makeup. Just it'll be fun. I mean your skin is _so_ beautiful." She gushed. She looked like a child in a candy store for the first time. Her eyes lit up immediately.

"Sure, Alice, whatever you want." I said to appease her. Her lips pulled away from her teeth and she started to beam at me. She suddenly looked her pink, glittery watch and sighed.

"I have to get going. I told Jasper I'd be over at his house soon. It was nice getting to know you, Bella." She got up off the couch and came over and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She slipped on her black sunglasses before exiting the room. I pulled out the pictures I had hidden under the duvet and looked at them again.

"That one was taken at Christmas dinner." Edward said; he was leaning against the door his hair still wet from his shower.

"I-I didn't mean to snoop." I said and placed the pictures back down on the nightstand.

"It's fine." He said and walked over and sat down beside me again.

"So how's everything with your Mom?"

"Fine as can be. She's not being as much of a bitch anymore, but I'm not sure how long that's going to last." I sighed.

"Can we just drop the subject now? Please."

"Of course."

"So how's Tanya and her pack of skanks?" I asked randomly trying to make conversation and he snorted.

"She blows up my phone every once in a while, but she leaves me alone for the most part." He said and I immediately felt relieved for some reason. He ran his hands through his almost dry hair now and sighed.

"Is something wrong?"

"Bella...something did happen last night, and I don't feel right keeping it from you." He sighed and ran his hand through his hair for the umpteenth time. I sat up straighter against the headboard and gave him my full attention.

"Well. Um. You kissed me last night." He said and faced me to try and gauge my reaction.

Memories from last night came rushing back to me. How I had straddled him. How I had placed my hands on his face. Pressed my lips to his. How he put his hands on my waist. I remembered how I felt: my heart crashing against my ribs, the tingling feeling in my toes, the bubbly feeling in my stomach. How I had said I liked him, and how I noticed his eyes light up at the statement. I wanted to feel like that again. I wanted to feel like that _now_.

"Oh."

"Yeah." He said awkwardly.

"Kiss me." I blurted suddenly and wondered if there was a filter between my brain and my mouth.

"What?" He asked incredulously.

"Kiss me?" My demand came out as a question this time.

He didn't need me to say it again before he closed the distance between our lips and he kissed me. I hesitantly moved my lips with his; not knowing what exactly to do. He grabbed at my hips and pulled a little bit so I would l lay down. He had one leg between mine and he stroked my cheek before burying his hands in my hair and firmly holding my head in place so he could press his lips firmer to mine. His hands slowly snaked up and under my shirt. My hands slowly made it up to his and I gently pushed him; signaling that I needed more time.

"Time." I gasped. I didn't expect he would_ grope_ me which sort of made me freak out because I didn't know what he expected of me.

"Fine." He rolled off me and tried to adjust the situation his pants as he sat up. He glanced at me and noticed that I noticed and a blush creeped into my cheeks. He sighed and pulled me to his chest where he whispered, _I like you__._

**A/N: Okay, first of all, sorry for no update for almost 2 weeks now. I'm just so busy with school and some issues I have to deal with and stuff. Thanks for reading, and reviewing. Thank you to my beta for pre-reading. Until next time.**

**Forever Yours, -SweetestBitch**


	21. Chapter 21

"I have to get going," She sighed and threw her legs over the bed and stood up. "Er, have you seen my shirt?" She asked awkwardly, and folded her arms across her chest like she just realized that she was only wearing a tank top. I reveled silently in how good she looked but snapped out of it before she noticed and freaked out on me.

"I'm not sure. Check under the bed, you threw it over there somewhere before you raped my mouth." I smirked and she blushed violently and ducked down to look for her shirt. She stood up- shirt in hand and quickly threw it on.

"I'm sorry about what happened last night, Edward." She said with no reason at all. I quickly stepped over to her and leaned in to whisper in her ear.

"Bella, it was amazing." I whispered and she shivered in my arms.

"Er. I really have to get going." She said and stepped out of my touch.

"Of course. Let me walk you to the door. Do you need a ride?" I asked while opening my bedroom door and motioning for her to go ahead of me.

"No I'm fine. I'll walk, I need time to think." Think? Think about what? About us? Was there an us? We needed to talk about this shit and fast. I nodded quickly and followed behind her on the stairs. I walked ahead of her and opened up the front door.

"Edward can I ask a favour?" She asked quietly and it seemed like she was afraid I would say no.

"Anything."

"Can you please come to my window tonight? I have a feeling Mom is going to be on the warpath and I think we have some things to talk about don't we." All of that came out in one huge breath and I had to focus to keep up.

I nodded at her request and she sighed a breath of relief.

"Please tell Emmett goodbye for me, and tell Alice thanks for being so kind." I nodded.

"Bye B!" Emmett screamed from the living room and Bella jumped a foot in the air and clutched at her heart. She shook it off and chuckled to herself.

"Bye Edward." I leaned down to kiss her but she moved her head so I ended up kissing the corner of her jaw. I looked down at her confused and she had a pained expression on her face.

"We both know that's a bad idea right now Edward." She whispered while looking down. With that she was out the door and down the steps. I closed the door and leaned against it. I shook my head and walked into the living room where Emmett was sitting on the sofa in black sunglasses and nursing a cup of coffee.

"How's the hangover dude?" I smirked.

"Ugh. Do you have to talk so loudly?" He groaned. "What about you? Don't you have a damn hangover?"

"Yes, but I'm not being a big baby about it." I said and walked into the kitchen to get something to eat. Emmett followed me behind me and sat down at the breakfast bar.

"Sorry about Rosalie." Emmett said randomly. "You know how she can be." He added apologetically.

"It's fine. I sort of expected it and warned her about it." I shrugged and got out the items to make a sandwich.

"You like her don't you?" He said confidently, like he already knew the answer.

"Why do you say that?" I stalled.

"Because of the way you look at her. It's the same look Jasper gives Alice, and the look I give Rose. And plus I heard you guys in the hall." He laughed.

"So what if I like her then? Would it be such a bad thing?" I said defensibly.

"Calm down dude. You can like or love anyone you want bro."

I didn't love Isabella Swan. I liked her, sure. But I didn't love her. Or did I?

"Now make me an Omelet." Emmett said, pulling my out of my revelation. I snorted.

"Make one yourself you lazy asshole." I grabbed a plate and put my sandwich on it and left the room. I walked up the stairs and into the piano room.

It had been a while since I actually played my piano. I sat down at the bench and raked my fingers over the keys- barely touching them. I pressed down on the first key slowly and let the sound echo into the room. I started playing some of the songs I had written for Esme. The song morphed in a softer melody, a quieter one that reminded me of Bella. I stopped for a moment and started playing 18th Floor Balcony. I probably played for hours.

There was a timid knock at the door before it opened.

"It's nice to hear you finally playing again, Edward." My mom said and sat down beside me on the bench. 18th Floor Balcony slowly morphed into one of her favourite songs that I had written just for her. Half way through she dabbed at her eyes. She always cried when I played for her.

"Thank you." She whispered and hugged me softly followed by a kiss on the cheek.

"I came in here to tell you to come help me with dinner." She said and stood up.

"Okay, Mom," I said and stood up and followed behind her and into the kitchen, where Emmett was already standing at the counter cutting up some leafy green thing. Mom handed me a wooden spoon and told me to keep stiring whatever was in the huge boiling pot. I looked over at the clock hanging on the wall and saw that it was already five-thirty. I promised Bella I'd be at her house at midnight. I was almost counting down the hours. Almost.

XX

After a boring dinner with my parents and Emmett I headed upstairs to my room and flopped down in the middle of the bed. I rubbed my eyes with the heal of my hands and thought about all the shit going on in my life that I had to figure out soon. Time went by slowly, I did things to try to occupy myself but it didn't work for long. I found myself pacing the length of my room over, and over again. Finally it was acceptable enough to leave the house and go to Bella's and not be too early. My parents were already sleeping so it would be easy to sneak out. I grabbed my car keys and was out the front door by the time someone could hear me.

The drive to Bella's was like a second nature. I didn't have to think about it at all. I parked near the forest by her house. I climbed up her tree easily and then peered into her window cautiously. She was sitting on her bed with her nose in her book. She occasionally looked up to look at the time- sighing everytime. She was just as anxious as I was. I tapped on her window twice and her head snapped up. She threw the duvet off and half ran to the window- tripping over her clothes that were strewn out on the floor. She opened up the latch on the window and pulled it open and stepped back. I climbed through the window.

"Hi." She whispered.

"Hi." We stood there staring at each other the tension around us was palpable. She turned around and climbed back on the bed and motioned for me to sit beside her. I sat down and she snuggled into my side. That shocked me for a moment but I put my arms around her pulling her closer. She smelled like strawberries and mint.

"How was your afternoon?" I pressed.

"It was fine, I read all afternoon. Mom barely noticed I was gone." She said.

"So didn't freak out at you? That's a first." I snorted and she smiled into my shirt.

"Let's stop beating around the bush Edward. We need to figure out what's going on between us." She sighed and pulled away. She moved to the end of the bed so she could look at me.

"I was afraid you'd say that." I muttered and she nodded. "Bella, I think you know exactly what's going on. You know exactly how I feel about you, but I don't know how you feel about me." I said and ran my hand through my hair; frustrated.

"That's the thing Edward! I don't know how I fucking feel." Tears pooled in her eyes and she quickly blinked them back. "I'm not very good with interpreting my emotions, Edward." She said violently and fisted the purple duvet around her. I leaned forward and placed my palm on her cheek and she softened at my touch.

"Do you feel that Bella? How you calm down when I touch you? You turn to me of all people when you feel upset. You fucking kissed me for god sakes. How do you not know how you feel?" I said softly but strongly.

"Edward, I'm scared. I'm fucking scared okay! I don't know what you want from me. For the millionth time, I'm not like those other girls you've been with." I grabbed her hand and started rubbing circles into her palm with my thumb. I grabbed her face with both of my hands and pressed my lips to hers. We pulled apart because we needed air. I pressed my forehead to hers. She was perfect. She was my Bella.

"I love you." I whispered, and she sucked in a breath and pulled away from me. She looked into my eyes, panicking and not knowing how to react.

**A/N: Hello Lovlies! I know I missed a week of updating but here I am! Again, I've just been so busy with school, and other issues but I try to write every free moment I get. Again thank you for reading, I love you all! We're almost at the end! Just a couple maybe 10-ish chapters left but don't hold that against me! Again, thanks for reading, and I love you all. **

**Forever Yours, -SweetestBitch xo **


	22. Chapter 22

He left me. Again. Thirty hours. Forty hours. Two weeks. A month. Three months? Time had no value anymore. It felt as if I had been awake for years, but it had probably only been a day and a half. It had been a little over a day since I last saw or heard from Edward, but it might as well have been a month. He had climbed back out of my window when he had said…_that_…granted, I didn't say it back, but I hoped he would stay so we could talk about it. One part of my mind screamed at me to leave him alone, and give him some time. While the other part screamed go after him.

I had tried to call Edward a couple hours after he left but of course he didn't pick up. I wondered if he was ignoring me. As I kept calling him, and my calls remained unanswered I took that as my answer. Edward wanted nothing more to do with me. It felt wrong to jump to conclusions like that. Maybe he just needed time to cool off, but if that was the case, then why couldn't he just tell me? I would have given him space. By ignoring me he just made matters worse. I hated myself for pushing him away time, after time. He kept pushing for something neither of us was ready for.

I closed my eyes and hugged my pillow to my chest.

_But he said that he loved me_.

When he had told me he loved me, his soul had been completely naked. Completely bare for me to see through his eyes. He wasn't lying when he said that. The raw pain in his eyes was what hurt me the most. He loved me.

But did I love him?

I had never really considered it. It had always been about Edward and what he was feeling. But what about _my_ feelings? Edward wanted me to be his girlfriend – but did _I_ want that? Did I want Edward as my boyfriend? I tried calling him one more time. I took a silent vow that if he didn't pick up this was the last time I would call and let him come to me.

"Bella." A breathy voice answered on the other line.

"Edward." Even that simple word cracked as it left my lips. I gripped my cell phone tighter in my hand.

"Bella, are you okay? You've been calling me for the past day and a half." He sighed.

"Edward, I need you. Can you please just come back?"

"Bella…I don't know."

"Please," My voice cracked and a tiny sob escaped my lips.

"I'll be over soon." He sighed and the line went dead.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and thought about what I was going to say.

XXX

I didn't know how long I had been in that position but a soft, velvety voice pulled me out of my head.

"Bella? Are you okay?"

I stretched out my legs in front me and looked up at him.

"I-I-I'm sorry," I whispered.

"It's okay. It's alright," he whispered as he stroked my back and kissed my head.

"You can't l-leave me Edward. Please don't turn away from me. I need you too much. I'm sorry I can't be what you want me to be. And I'm sorry I don't love you, just please don't leave me." I pleaded and fisted his shirt with my hand.

He started rocking me back and forth, and I was comforted by the motion.

"I'm here, don't worry. I'm always here for you." he reassured me with a soft voice. I couldn't believe he was here. He frowned and continued to stroke my cheeks with his thumbs, even though there were no more tears to wipe. I smiled sadly at him.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"For what?" He snorted.

"You know what I'm apologizing for," I said, giving him a pointed glance. He sighed and nodded, letting his hands fall down to his lap instead. Never once did his eyes waver from mine.

He didn't say anything.

"Edward, please… talk to me," I pleaded.

"I have nothing to say, Bella, I've said everything I needed to say." He said and I felt him putting a wall up and starting to become defensive.

"I'm sorry," I said again.

"What for this time?" he asked without looking at me.

"For what happened... for what I said… I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I didn't mean to… hurt you…I didn't even know I could,"

"Why wouldn't you?" he asked with a snort. "We're… friends. Of course you could hurt me. Just like I could hurt you too."

"You would never hurt me," I argued softly, and that made him look up, meeting my gaze once again.

"You're right," he agreed. "I would never hurt you… but I did." He sighed, closing his eyes.

"My life was fucking easy before you stumbled into it. And now I have to deal with shit I never thought I would have to deal with. I have to deal with the constant worry that something will happen to you. He groaned and hid his face in his hands, resting his elbows against his legs. He looked so defeated. I hated seeing him like this.

His body was trembling, and I scooted over so I could hug him from the side and rest my chin on his shoulder.

"I hate you the most because I fucking…" He paused, taking a deep breath before answering. "… love you." He turned his head towards me, and I bit my lip to keep myself from kissing his. "You can't have it both ways, Bella," he said with a quiet voice.

"Edward… you mean everything to me," I argued.

"You have a funny way of showing it," he replied sourly.

"Is my past finally catching up with me? Is my past the reason you won't even consider the idea of being with me? Did I hurt you too much? Did I burn all my bridges? Am I never going to enter anything other than the friend zone with you?" He sighed. "Maybe we should… take a break." His voice a little louder now as if he was finally addressing me.

"You're… you're leaving me?" I asked with a shaky voice. "You can't be my friend anymore?"

"That's not what I'm saying." he replied. "But I just need time."

I grabbed his arm and held on to it.

"No," I said firmly, which made him quirk an eyebrow at me.

"Please, don't turn away from me," I whispered. "Don't leave me. I need you. Don't shut me out. I need you too much. I c-can't do this without you."

He smiled softly and stroked my cheek with his finger. "You made it for months without me, what's some more?"

My stomach dropped at his words, and I swallowed thickly. "With just a couple of butchered suicide attempts in the mix," I replied. He winced. "Yeah, forgot about that little detail, huh?" I couldn't help but comment.

"I care about you…"

"Not good enough."

"You mean a lot to me."

"Still not good enough."

I sighed deeply and rested my forehead against his shoulder.

"We need to figure this out, don't we?" I said quietly. "This new… development."

"You promise you won't leave?"

"Promise."

He pressed his lips against my forehead, and it was as if I finally found my switch. Ever so slowly, my breathing returned to normal and my body relaxed. It didn't occur to me until then that my entire body had been tensed up, and my leg ached at the added strain.

"You good?" he asked, smiling gently at me.

I nodded and when I met his gaze I knew exactly what I needed to do.

What I needed to say.

I needed to take a leap.

"Ask me," I whispered.

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "Ask you what?"

"Ask me," I said again, but he still looked confused. I put my hands on his on my face, giving him a forceful look. "You still want me to be that girl? Ask me."

His lips twisted into an uncertain smile, and I could see how he slowly realized what I was telling him. I smiled through my tears as he wiped away another streak from my cheek.

"Will you… will you be my girlfriend?" he whispered, his shaky voice was barely more than a breath. Fear was clear in his eyes along with uncertainty and hope.

It was the right one.

Why did it feel so good to say one simple word?

"Yes."

A/N: Hi guys. Let me start of by saying sorry for not updating for like..3 weeks? I have been so freaking busy with school and stuff. I'm finished my exams and whatnot and I am not summer break. SO YAAAY. Anyways, I'm back to my regular updating schedual. By the way: I think I failed my math exam so yay. Thank you for waiting for this chapter. I love you all xo

Forever Yours, - SweetestBitch


	23. Chapter 23

"Yes? A motherfucking yes? Are you serious?"

She nodded. "I'm… I'm serious," I replied, trying to smile.

"You're my girlfriend. I'm your… boyfriend…" He trailed off. His eyes widened slightly and I snickered at his expression.

"It just occurred to you that's what this means, huh," I said with a teasing tone and hugging myself closer to him.

"Yeah," he said, dragging the word out. "This is so weird… I've never been anyone's boyfriend before." There was a comfortable silence between us before he spoke again.

"Are we gonna carve out some rules or what?"

"Yes."

"So… we might as well cover one of the big ones first," he said. "PDA. Yes or no?

"It's what couples do, right? It's not people's business to know what we are or what we aren't. So if you want to kiss me in public, or hold my hand only do it because you want to do it for you… and not to prove some point to other people, alright?" I rambled off in one breath and prayed he would agree to my terms.

"So yes on the PDA?" He asked.

"Sure. I guess."

He reached over a tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and sighed. He pulled me closer and pressed his lips to mine. I hummed and he smiled against my lips. I could seriously get used to this.

I pulled away suddenly and gasped for air. He smirked and I hit my hand lightly against his chest.

He opened his mouth to ask me something but I already knew what it was before he said anything.

"Edward?" I cut him off.

"Yeah?"

"You don't have to ask anymore." I assumed he already knew what I was talking about.

Good." He said and pulled me closer again, and pressed his lips to mine.

I opened her mouth a little, and he immediately took the opportunity to get a better hold on my bottom lip, sucking on it lightly. It elicited a soft moan from me. He let his tongue slip inside my mouth, briefly touching mine before he pulled back completely. I was thankful that he pulled back and didn't push me.

I yawned and closed my eyes and snuggled myself closer to him. He wrapped his arms tighter around me.

"Tired, are we?" He murmured in my ear.

"Very. And Edward?"

"Thank you for loving me." I whispered.

"Too bad it's not mutual, huh." He said, before I nodded off completely.

~WS~

I woke up stiff as a bored. My shoulders hurt. My neck hurt. And I was wound up in Edwards iron grasp. I looked up at Edward and he had a small crease between his brows and I wondered what or who he was dreaming about. I had a sudden urge to kiss the little crease away, and that scared me because being intimate scared me. Edward was clearly okay with me making the first move..but I on the other hand was still working up to the idea.

"You're staring." Edward said and I blushed. He loosed his grip on me and leaned down to kiss my forehead. I didn't realize that he had woken up while I was having my little revelation.

"Don't your parents wonder where you are half the time, Edward? And your friends? I fee like such a bitch for always keeping you away from them." I ranted out in one breath and sighed.

"First of all, you are not a bitch. Second of all, my parents barely notice me when I'm home. On weekdays Mom and Dad are out the door before Emmett and I wake up. Mom leaves breakfast on the table and just leaves with Dad." He paused to rub his eyes and stifle a yawn before he continued. "My friends. Sure, they miss me, especially Alice, but I don't think they mind Bella." He tightened his arms around me again and we laid there in a comfortable silence. I sighed and wiggled out of his arms after a little bit.

"School." I said simply. Edward groaned but got up and stretched a little. "Do you mind staying here for a couple of minutes while I go see if Mom's home?" I sighed.

"Nope. Go ahead." He said and motioned towards the door. I ran my hand through my tangled hair and slowly opened the door and slipped out into the hall. Obviously Dad wasn't home - he never was. I scoured every room and thanked Jesus she wasn't home. Mom probably got Alec ready and sent him to he bus stop early. I told Edward it was safe to come downstairs. We ate breakfast together, and I got dressed, grabbed my bag and we were out the door in fifteen minutes. We were running extremely late but Edward drives like a maniac and almost gave me a heart attack more than once.

He parked in his usual spot, everyone watched as we got out of the car together and their eyes grew wider as they watched Edward put his arm around my waist. We walked into the school together, while everyone continued to stare. Edward kept his head held high and a proud smile plastered on his face while I kept my head down and tried not to avoid making eye contact with anyone. Edward walked with me to my first class.

"So, see you at lunch?"

"Yeah, see you."

He leaned in again, wanting to kiss me goodbye but I guess he thought better of it and pulled back. I gave him an appreciative smile, and he smiled back before turning the other way and walking away with his hands in his pockets.

~WS~

My class before lunch was cancelled, so I had nothing better to do than roam the halls. After leaving my books in my locker I started to walk aimlessly in the halls. I was so caught up in my own thoughts that I didn't even think to look up from the floor as I rounded the corner and collided with someone. I fell over before I could register who I collided with.

"Crap. Sorry Bella. I wasn't watching where I was going." I realized automatically who I collided with. Edward helped me up to my feet and I dusted myself off.

"Are you okay though? Are you in any pain?" He asked and I shrugged.

"Calm down, Edward. I fell, I didn't get hit by a car." I rolled my eyes and we started walking aimlessly.

"What are you doing roaming the halls anyway?"

"I usually have my study block this period, but I didn't have any homework or anything to study for so.." I trailed off.

"Wanna go see if the cafeteria is open yet?"

Luckily for us – it was.

A few people were already seated in the table at the back. Edward bought and paid for our food and was surprised I didn't object to it. I just rolled my eyes at him. We sat down at one of the table -not his usual table- and I picked up my apple and twirled it around in my hands.

"Will your friends be joining us?" I asked suddenly feeling nervous.

He shrugged. "If they want to."

He leaned forward, and I was grateful that our only audience was the burnouts at the opposite side of the room. He kissed me softly, my hands wound up in his hair and I gripped it as he let his tongue sneak out and trace my bottom lip. I let my mouth open, the tip of his tongue meeting mine halfway. He pulled away and sighed and pressed his forehead to mine.

"Hey Bella!" A voice that belong to none other then Alice Brandon said excitedly behind me and I stiffened. I pulled away from Edward as she put down her tray on the table and sat down in the empty seat beside mine. Edward grabbed my hand and started rubbing circles into it with his thumb.

"Hi Alice." I said meekly and ran my fingers through my hair.

"Where's Jasper?" Edward asked.

"In the lunch line." She said and pointed her thumb behind her to the lunch line. "I didn't feel like waiting with him so I came over here." She shrugged and then gasped. "I hope I'm not intruding or anything." Edward looked over at me and waited for me to answer her.

"No. Not at all Alice." I said and took a small bite of my apple.

"So where are Emmett and Rose?" Edward asked and unwrapped his sandwich.

"Probably hooking up in that empty classroom on the second floor." She scrunched up her nose in disgust. The empty classroom was supposed to be our new music room, but due to budget cuts they stopped halfway through the renovation so the room was closed off.

Jasper came and sat down with us a few minutes later. He gave Alice a peck on the cheek and whispered something in her ear and Alice blushed.

"Get a room!" Edward said laughing and threw a french fry at Jasper. I smiled and relaxed a bit.

"So Bella," I looked over at Alice, "Do you want to come to the movies this weekend with Rose and me? We're going to go shopping after." She pleaded and unleashed her puppy dog eyes on me.

"I..uh..I don't know Alice..Rosalie doesn't like me much. I'd be intruding." I said and fidgeted nervously.

"Oh come on Bella! It'll be fun. Please!"

"You might as well say yes. Alice is very persistent." Jasper said, I never noticed he had a subtle southern drawl-but then again I never did talk to him before.

"Sure, Alice. I guess I'll come."

"Thank you so much Bella!" Alice squealed and hugged me. I looked over at Edward and he was looking at me like he didn't know why I said yes.

The bell rang that signaled that lunch was over and I sighed a sigh of relief. Edward and I got up and he took my hand again and walked me to my class. We paused by the door and he kissed me slowly. When we pulled apart and he walked away and I noticed Tanya standing across the hall. I realized she'd watched everything. I put my head down and walked into the classroom.

~WS~

"Why'd you say yes to her?" Edward asked as he put the car in park in front of my house.

"Said yes to who?" I asked and turned in my seat to face him.

"Alice."

"Did you not want me to say yes?" I asked confusedly. "If you don't want me to hang out with her I can just cancel.." I trailed off quietly.

"That's not what I'm saying Bella." He sighed, exasperated. "I just, I know you don't feel comfortable around Alice or Rosalie yet. I just don't want you to feel like you have to like them just for me."

"Edward..I couldn't say no to Alice. It would kill her. Plus she seems like a sweet, hyper person." I forced a smile.

"I could cancel for you if you want.." He trailed off.

"Edward. Stop. It's fine. Plus I'd like to get to know Alice." Edward opened his mouth to say something else but I cut him off with a kiss.

"Bella.." He said after we pulled apart.

"Goodbye Edward!" I laughed and slammed the car door behind me as I got out. I walked to my front porch and opened the door and walked in. I threw my bag down by the sofa and was halfway up the stairs before I heard a voice call my name. My mother.

I turned around on my heels and reluctantly walked down the stairs. I entered the kitchen where I found her leaning against the counter in her gray skirt and white silk top.

"Have a seat Isabella." Her voice was not harsh but not overly emotional either. I slowly pulled the nearest chair out and it scraped across the tiles causing me to flinch from the sound. I sat down and put my hands in my lap and looked up to face my mother.

"Isabella who was that boy that dropped you off?" She asked and her face darkened.

"I..uh..just a friend from s-school." I stammered.

"If he's just a friend, Isabella, why did you kiss him?" She said and slammed her hands down on the table. I flinched from the sound and cowered away from her. "What are you doing Isabella? Did you open your legs up for the first boy to ever pay attention to you?" She sneered at me.

"Do not speak to me like that." I almost yelled in her face.

"You will not speak to me like young lady."

"Why not? You taught me how." And I regretted those words as soon as they left my mouth because those words just got me a slap to the cheek and me contemplating whether to call Edward or finally leave this planet. I had two choices. Two choices.

**A/N: SORRY. I'm so fucking sorry. I've been so busy (and paranoid). I just have a lot of things going on with me and in my life that I have to deal with one by one. I'm so extremely sorry that this is late. I'm just..sorry. Anyways. This is just gonna go down hill for a chapter or 2 but it's gonna get better. I promise. Love you guys. **

**Forever Yours, -SweetestBitch xo **


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